Kitty in Action
Los Angeles 2132
Nach dem Großen Amerikanischen Bruderkrieg der auf Obamas Golden Age folgte konnten die Unionstruppen Los Angeles nicht einnehmen und die Stadt wurde aufgegeben. Die Einwohner der Stadt die in einem beispielslosen Guerillakampf die Stadt halten konnten konnten sich allerdings nicht einigen wer der neue Herrscher sein soll und so herrscht nun seit geschlagenen 100 Jahren Anarchie. Die Grundversorgung der Stadt wird durch die Asiatischen Märkte sichergestellt doch fallen asiatische Handelskarawanen des öfteren indianischen Banditen in die Hände die mit ihren Pferden extrem beweglich und durch ihre Uzis für extrem bleihaltige Luft sorgen können.
In den Ruinen der Stadt leben die Untermenschen, degenerierte Inzestwesen die von dem leben was die Indianischen Banditen übriglassen, wie Ratten durchforsten sie alles und sie nehmen sich auch alles.
Eines dieser Wesen ist Freddo ein riesiger übergewichtiger glatzköpfiger behaarter Rattenkoch, eines Tages fand er in einer brennenden Koreanischen Postkutsche ein kleines hübsches Mädchen das ihn an eine mutterlose Katze erinnerte, und so nahm er sie an sich und zog sie auf wie eine Katze, und sie wurde wie eine Katze, sie ging für ihn auf die Jagd und wurde zur Belohnung mit Meeresfrüchten gefüttert, manchmal fing sie sich auch selbst einen Hummer in den Teichen der Menschen mit den vielen Gesichtern in Beverly Hills.
Wie eine Katze ist sie unabhängig und nachtaktiv, sie erforscht die Nächte der Stadt, am liebsten sitzt sie auf den Hollywood Buchstaben und sieht sich die Sterne an, sie denkt viel nach über Gott und die Welt, ihr Geist reift und sie beginnt in Frage zu stellen warum sie mit diesem wiederlichen fetten Kerl zusammen leben muss wo sie doch unabhängig sein kann und sie erkennt ihr Verhältniss kann nur beendet werden in dem Freddo an sich beendet wird und so schmiedet sie einen Plan.
Eines Tages kommt Freddo vom Leichenfleddern in der alten U-Bahn Station zurück und findet ein ägyptisches Pergament auf dem Boden auf ihm zu sehen ist eine Katze die einen Menschen zerfetzt, plötzlich schreckt er auf denn um ihn rum sind tausende von schwarzen Katzen und sie allen miauen was das Zeug hält. Und mittendrin steht sie, die mittlerweile ausgereifte 16jährige Kitty mit einem Grinsen über dem Gesicht und Klauen so wie Wolverine in den Händen, sie geht in die Ducke und springt auf ihm, zerfetzt sein Gesicht und reisst seinen Körper auf und verteilt die Gedärme im Zimmer, die Katzen machen sich daran alles zu verspeisen, genüsslich nagen sie Knochen ab und schlürfen seinen Augensaft.
Nun ist Kitty frei und kann tun und lassen was immer sie will. Sie schleicht herum, flirtet mit Männer und Katern und landet schließlich auf einem Chinesenmarkt wo sie einem Indianer ins Auge fällt, dieser guckt wie verdutzt denn er ist ein Katzenkrieger und sie offensichtlich die Erfüllung der Prophezeiung, die große Katzenkriegerin die den Stamm der Katzenkrieger zum Sieg über den stärkeren Stamm der Hundekrieger führen soll.
Er geht zur ihr rüber und sie schmiegt sich an ihn, sie befühlen und putzen sich gegenseitig, daraus wird mit der Zeit immer mehr befummeln und lecken bis sich einem extatischen Liebesspiel hingeben das über 36 Stunden hinweg geht, dank ihrer Gelenkigkeit können sie über 1350 Stellungen ausüben und dank ihrer sexuellen Kraft jede auch noch 3mal. Nach dieser ekstatischen Erfahrung bringt Scharfer Zahn Kitty zu dem Lager seines Stammes im San Fernando Valley wo die beiden mit lautem Miauen empfangen werden und ihnen zu Ehren eine riesige Orgie abgehalten wird voll mit den feinsten Fischen und Meeresfrüchten und sexuellen Erfahrungen aller Art, Katzenfrauen schlecken sich ihre Muschis sauber, die Katzenmänner machen das gleiche mit ihren Schwängeln, Männer bringen Frauen zum sexuellen Höhepunkt, die Frauen wiederrum die Männer aber auch ebenfalls die Frauen die Frauen und die Männer die Männer, ebenso wie einige Männer und Frauen sich lieber von den echten Katzen befriedigen lassen die es sowiso die ganze zeit miteinander treiben aber ganz romantisch, einer hat sogar Sex mit einem ausgewachsenen Pumaweibchen, und so mancher spielt auch mit manch ausgefallerem Vergügen wie einem Bär oder einem Vielfrass, der ein oder andere lässt sich auch einen Einlauf aus warmen Katzenkot verpassen, aber nur die ganz kranken.
Grober Schnitt, Szenenwechsel zu den Hundekriegern um ein Lagerfeuer rum tanzen sie und vögeln sich gegenseitig, immer kurze Qickies sie trinken eine Mischung aus Bier, Wodka und Urin und beissen sich hin und wieder gegenseitig in die Geschlechtsteile, dazu ertönt heulender Hundegesang und aggressives Bellen, in Arenen kämpfen Kampfhunde gegeneinander, Kampfhundemenschen gegeneinander und Kampfhunde gegen Kampfhundemenschen
Erneut ein grober Schnitt in ein Büro das aussieht wie als sei es aus dem Wilden Westen, drin sitzt ein Mann in einer Polizeiuniform der 1950er, der Name der auf dem Namensschild steht ist McCorkney, doch sein wahrer Name ist Szebudaraskowski, denn dieser Mann wurde in Minsk geboren und wollte einfach mal dieser vollgefressenen Wohlstandsgesellschaft entkommen und das aufregende Lebenen eins Wild West Polizisten leben (Im Russischen Kino des 22.Jahrunderters neigt man dazu verschiedene Jahrunderte miteinander zu vermischen), doch er ahnte nicht das er es bald mit einem Raubtier zu tun bekommen wird die so ganz und gar kein braves Mietzekätzchen ist
Kitty durchstreift die Ruinen von Central Los Angeles nach ungeöffneten Fischkonserven als sie sein blau-gelbes "Westernbüro" entdeckt, drin erspäht sie ihn und sofort schiesst ihr das Bild Freddos in den Kopf, der Drang zum Töten steigt in ihr auf und auch der reichlich gefüllte Kühlschrank angeschlossen an einen Generator erweckt ihren Hunger. Sie weiss das sie am Tage nicht angreifen konnte da "McCorkney" nicht dumm ist und sich die modernste russische Bewaffnung mitgenommen hat. Doch bei Nacht ist sie im Vorteil, als der "Bulle" in seinen wodkagetränkten Schlaf fällt schwebt Kitty vom Dach, sie schneidet mit einem Schweissbrenner den Deckel der Lüftung heraus und klettert hinein, schlängelt sich durch die Lüftung, findet den Ausgang und landet schließlich direkt in seinem Bett, sie fährt ihre Krallen aus streicht seinen Penis entlang der sofort errigiert, ein sanfter Strich nach oben und dann ein fester Strich nach unten den Penis sauber durchschnitten, er zerfällt in zwei Hälften und das Blut spritzt fontänenartig aus ihm heraus, sie führt den Strich weiter durch seinen gesamten Oberkörper und dem Kopf, der komplette Körper zerreist in zwei Hälften und fällt in die verschiedenen Richtungen des Zimmers und die Katzen strömen herein und verspeisen alles was sie ebenfalls volltrunken macht.
Zurück zu den Hundekriegern, auch sie wurden inzwischen fündig und haben die legendäre Hundekriegerin gefunden die sich der Katzenkriegerin im entscheiden Kampf entgegenstellen soll. Sie haben sie in einen Käfig eingesperrt und anstatt Nahrung bekommt sie nur Schläge und Hass entgegen, um sie wütend und blutdurstig zu machen für den großen Kampf.
Kitty wird währendessen von verschiedenen Raubkatzen trainiert, der Löwe zeigt ihr die Kraft, der Tiger richtig zuzubeissen, der Puma wie sich sich am schnellsten bewegt und der Gepard wie man am schnellsten rennt, ihre Muskelkraft, Beweglichkeit, Ausdauer und ihr Kampfgeist steigen ins unermessliche.
Der anstehende Kampf ist das Thema auf den Basaren, den Parks und den Ranches, man kann sowohl bei den Niggern in South Central, bei den vielen chinesichen Wettbuden wie auch bei den Arabern in Little Lebanon Wetten darauf abschließen wer seinen Stamm zu Glorie und der Herrschaft über die Täler und wer seinen Stamm in tiefste Scham und Verderben führen wird.
Auch die Comancheros, die Nachfahren italoamerikanischer Filmemacher die die Indianer mit Whiskey, Crack, Maschinengewehren und weissen Frauen versorgen wollen mitmischen und so planen sie Kitty zu enftführen und dem inoffizellen König der wiederauferstanden Atzteken in Pico Union zu überreichen. Und dann gibt es noch 2 Pistoleros die niemals lächeln namens Jesse Armstrong (Antonio di Teffe) und Ringo Guiterezz (Edward James Olmos), zwei gebrochene Männer deren Familien von den Comancheros ermordet wurden und die blutige Rache geschworen haben.
Der Tag des Kampfes ist gekommen, der Thunderdome ist hergerichtet viele Zuschauer sind anwesend es gibt Freibier und eine heisses grosbusiges Playmate ist zur Vorab Unterhaltung anwesend die Kontrahentinen betreten den Ring, der MC sagt sie an in der linken Ecke die Titelverteidigerin die legendäre Hundekriegerin und in rechten Ecke die sexy Herausforderin die Katzenkriegerin, der Ringrichter schlägt die Glocke die den Kampf einleutet Kitty wetzt ihre Krallen faucht wie eine Katze und schleicht durch den Ring wie eine Tigerin ihre Kontrahentin knurrt wie eine Hündin und als die Spannung is unermessliche wächst springen sie aufeinader Kitty rammt der Hündin ihre Krallen tief ins Fleisch und die Hündin beisst ihr in den Schenkel beide schreien auf vor Schmerz aber sie kämpfen weiter sie gehen auseinander und springen wieder aufeinader zu dieses mal kratzt Kitty der Hündin die Augen aus während diese dadurch nichts sehen kann und den Biss verfehlt diese Chance nutzt Kitty und springt erneut auf die Hündin und zerreist ihr den Brustkorb und reist ihr das Herz aus und hält dieses in der blutüberströmten Hand der Sonne entgegen Kitty hat gesiegt und dadurch das jubelnde Katzenvolk das jetzt die alleinige Herrschaft über das Viertel antritt während die Hundekrieger die Wahl haben das Viertel zu verlassen oder sich der Herrschaft der Katzenkrieger zu beugen
Montag, August 31, 2009
Sonntag, August 09, 2009
The Thief, the Killer and the Rapist
Watch out for the New Exploitation Dynamite the Southern Blaxpoitation Late Western Gangster Movie The Thief The Killer and the Sadist
Atlanta in the 20's:
Daniel Murphy is Rally a charming Thief, Trickster and Booze Smuggler and he is the Boss of the Rubber Boys a Gang of Smooth Criminals with cool Hats with feather trimming, light blue shirts striped Jackets, flat striped Pants and a Pocket Watch they stole a lot Stuff and sell a lot Stuff but they are not bad People who kill for fun but they fight ive they must real funny like Fred and Grady Rallys Part begins in a Strip Bar where he stole the Key of a Booze Truck from a Moonshiner while the Moonshiner watching the Hot Dance of Yolanda (Halle Berry) who is Rallys accomplice they drive away with the Truck it views a Animation The Thief
In the next Scene we see Tommy Lister Jr. as Bubba King of the Jungle the Leader of the Giant Gorillas a gang of Big Black Bald Hardass Killers whos the archfiends of the Rubber Boys in the first Scene they robb a Motel and kill everybody who is in inside with their Bear Hands they hit People to death the choke People to death and they crash People at the Wall to Death they drive away with their Booty and a Animation views The Killer
In the Next Scene we see John Durnsworth as a KKK Grand Dragon who sits on his Horse while other KKK Members torture the Men of a Black Family who is bounded on Trees with Hot Flames so they near at a painful Death while the Women and Girls of the Family are get raped brutally by perverted drunken KKK Members as all get finish they kill the whole Family and John Dunsworth take a Draft from his Whiskey Bottle and says
The Sadist: "One Nigger Tribe lesser" and a Animation views The Sadist
And they three Ways are get crossed in search of the confederated War Treasuere who is burrow in the Ground The Thief and the Killer where both hunted by the local Sheriff who turned out as the Sadist
The Thief and his Men drive the Whiskey to their Disbritur who is John Witherspoon and sell him the Whiskey and then they drive to their Hiding Place a little filthy Tavern where they play Pool, Billiard and made out with their Girls Rally hold a Speech:
Rally: "Hey Brothers watch out we make a lot of money and now i go in vacation to Miami and you can do what ever is your Desire you can do everything as long if you didn't bestray me in that case a will cut your Throat so happy Hang Out and Burn Out im on a Vacation" and drive with a Taxi to the Station"
The Killer are with his Men in their Hiding Place a Cave where their share their loot and the Killer says
Killer: "We all got a little Bit and now everybody goes on the next Robb we build small Teams Deero go with Tyrone Zachariah go with Ernesto and Bulldog and Ramir with Smasher and Crasher you People drive with the Cars and i drive with the Train to Miami to robb some Casinos and he go to a Taxi too to the Station
At the Station the both don't seen each other and go to the Train where they sit on wide afar Wagons the Thief sit in his Wagon read a bit in his Newspaper where there stands Little Clown with funny Beard talks funny Things about the Jews in Munich the Varitee is amused then he trys to sleep but there comes the Foodboy who is Eddy Murphy and says
Foodboy: "What do you want to eat i got Fried Chicken, Seafood Gumbo, Sweet Potato Mash, Sweet Potato Fries Corn Bread and Mint Julep"
The Thief: "I take everything"
meanwhile in the Gorilla Class the Killer orders by a Gorilla Foodboy 30 rare Steaks and 12 Sixpacks
Gorilla Foodboy: "What do you want to eat"
The Killer: "30 rare Steaks and 12 Sixpacks"
after this big Meal they both must go to the Toilet who is in the middle of their each Wagons and so they met each other in Front of the Toilet they must extremly important on this Toilet and so no one of them both want to resign and so they begin a Fight Bubba hit Rally with is Iron Fist he is heavily wounded but he didn't give up and hit him with his comparative small Fists and Feet over and over again Bubba hit him again and Rally is near at the End but he didn't Stop to hit on Bubba and so Bubba prepare for a third deadly Hit but Rally avoids and Bubba hit in the Toilet Door and lose his Control so they both crash into the Door and fall in the Toilet from where they stand up dry them clean, shake the opposites Hand and close a Cease Fire for now though they don't even know yet that this Alliance is really important because they have a Mighty Enemy who track on them
Long View of the The Sadist an his Men while they riding a few driving with Motorbikes and the heavy armed while theirs play the typical Music meanwhile
The Thief and the Killer arrive in Miami where they check in in the El Segundo Inn the Clerk is Demond Wilson and he says
Clerk: "One or Two Beds"
The Killer Screams
The Killer: "What the fuck do we look like Faggots"
Clerk: "I better say nothing"
The Killer: "Thats a good Idea...hey"
Rally: "Two Beds and whats for meal"
Clerk: "Chilli con Carne"
Rally: "Thats great"
and so they go to their Room enpackage their Package take some Drinks from the Mini Bar and then they fall tired in their Beds at the next Morning the Killer wake up take a shower take some drinks and then wake the Thief
The Killer: "Come on stand up and take some Shower you little Bastard"
Rally opens his Eyes
Rally: "Which Day is it"
The Killer: "Payoff Day"
and smiles so Rally stand up and take a Shower while the Killer take a few more Drinks after that they take Chilli for Breakfast the Clerk aks
Clerk: "Hows the Couple today hope you have a amazing Wedding Night"
The Killer want to strangle the Clerk
The Killer: "Shut up you fucking Idiot you think you funny right but i will show you how funny i am"
but the Thief hold him back
The Thief: "Hey come down don't forget its Payoff Day"
The Killer: "You right"
and let the Clerk down and they both leave the Motel and walk to the Casino on the Way the buy some Tacos and from the Killers Taco theres dropping some Hot Sauce on a Mexican (Larry Thomas) who holds his Siesta at the Bottom the Mexican scream
Mexican: "Hey you ugly Gorilla watch out wheres your Sauce is dropping to"
The Killer turns back and looks psycho this fears the Mexican to Death and he says
Mexican: "Im Sorry its allright i like hot Sauce on my Face see i cream me in with this"
After that they arrive at the Casino where they get Drinks the Killer go to the Cube Table and scream
The Killer: "Allright Daddy need a new Sombrero"
and the Thief get at the Slot Machines the Killer have bad Luck with the Cubes and change to the Blackjack Table where he also have Bad Luck so he change to the Poker Table where he plays with Jack Nicholson, Christopher Llyod and Danny de Vito and loss all his Money so he get to the Thief at the Slot Machines who are not so expensive because of that the Thief lose the Money not so fast but he lose too he just have one Quarter over and this Quarter he toss in the Slot Machine and the Pattern forms a Southern Flag and there comes one Coin with also a Soutern Flag on it comes out and the Pattern changes again to the Words
"Wen you search for it you will get it" and then the Pattern turns regular again The Killer says
The Killer: "What to fuck was that"
The Thief: "I have a Idea but where must be search?"
Meanwhile the Sadist an his men arrive in Miami where they walk go to the El Segundo on the Way the Sadist kicks on the Mexican who says
Mexican: "What stinky Bastard was this again"
looks up and see the evil smilin Rednecks and say
Mexican: "Oh Pardon its allright i like Feet thats kicking me"
and so the Rednecks kick him to death and then they walk in the El Segundo and the Sadist asks
The Sadist: "Where are the Two Niggers"
Clerk: "What Niggers do you talkin about i knew no Niggers
The Sadist: "Dont lie on me Nigger it will not be good for you"
but the Clerk didn't say where they are even he's feared to death in the Inside he stay hard and so they hostage him and bond him with a Cord on the Horse and grinding him but he didn't say it so they do the same with a Motorbike he is heavy wounded but he still say any Word so they put him on a Table and cut in his Finger Tips and put Chilli Powder inside this endless Torture brings him finally to a Confession
Clerk: "They went to the Casino"
The Sadist: "Thats all i liked to know"
turn back and give the Commando shut him in the Head
The Sadist: "Shut this lousy old Nigger"
The Sadist an his Men went to the Casino but the Killer and the Thief are allready far away they are on a Train to New Orleans because the Thief remember he heard a Story of a missed confederate War Treasure thats assumed in New Orleans on the Train the search a quiet Wagon sit down and try to sleep a moment of silence than crash an Indian trough the blanket he has long black Hair braided to a Plat wears no shirt have brown skin a muscular Body and traditional Indian Tatoos such as an Eagle and an Bufallo he says
The Indian: "Hey Folks im Quatche from the Chicasaw and my Chiefhood send me to help you to find the Confederated War Treasure we three can get it and we share as three but we must beware of the Sadist and his Men they like Devils"
The View change to the Sadist an his Men riding to West the Sadist say
The Sadist: "So long they are lucky but soon i will found them and then they feel the first Time in their Life whats real Pain means"
Switch back to the Thief, the Killer and the Indian who arrive in New Orleans the Indian says
The Indian: "I know a nice Hotel in the French Quarter"
where they walk trough from the Station they see a lot of Jazz Bands, Hookers, Gamblers and Alligator Stick Traders on the Street and its Voodoo in the Air as they pass a little Voodoo Shop theres sitting a old ugly Witch and a young sexy mysterios Witch (Lisa Bonet) before the Shop and watching them afterwards and smile they now that this Men are stricked in something diabolical they arrive at the Hotel who is in old French Cononical Style and owned by a strange Frenchman who greets them
Frenchman: "'allo my Brothers welcome to my Etablishment i give you my best Rooms and when you have a Desire any Kind of Desire call me and i please your Desires"
The Thief: "And what is when we didn't want get pleased by you"
Frenchman: "Ohho then i send my beautiful Nieces Monique and Rachel"
in this Moment they show up and they are really hot on has black Hair and the other blonde and both have soft skin big breasts and heavenly Asses and they are really beuatiful
The Thief: "Yes i think i like this Place"
they go to their Rooms enpackage their Package take some Drinks have some Fun with the Girls and then they got to eat it gives Gumbo with Duck, Alligator and Oysters and everybody enjoy the Meal after that they go out to the Night for some Jazz Concerts and a lot of Drinks they enjoy the famous Nightlife of New Orleans and take the Girls with them the Indian knows the best Places they go from Club to Club until they arrive at the best Club where they play one of the best Jazz Bands hot Jazz Rhytms and the all Dance and Rally got in Dance with that young sexy Witch how look afterwards them earlier she is real hot and have the sexyst Dance Moves ever she dance Rally in a Exstase of Sex and Voodoo where he is sinking in they have a Great Long and Hot Sex the best Sex he ever had after that they lie on the Beach and sleep while the Killer and the Indian drank Beer and Whiskey at a Beach Bar allnight long
At the next Morning Rally and the hot young Witch awake and they go to their Grandmother the Old Witch where she is looking in her Crystal Ball and tell them that their Trip is not finish yet, they found what they search not in New Orleans their Path leads to Texas and so they get on a Train to Texas while that the Sadist and his Men arrive in New Orleans and torture the young Witch they put their Head in Extremly Hot Water and destroy their Face but she didn't confess so the Sadist put her Head under Water much longer so she die as Wrath the old Witch put and evil Spell on them
The Thief, the Killer and the Indian arrive in Texas and walk trough some small Town who is surrounded by Cattle Farms everywhere are Cowboys and Gunmen the Gunmen examine them there's not many Blacks in this Area
The View change into a Manor in the Middle of the Town where a Patriarch in a white Suit and with a white Hat on sit in his Office with the Feet on his Table, smoke some Cigar and phone with somebody and says
Texan Patriarch: "They arrived"
The View is changed to the Man on the other Phone who is the Sadist who says
The Sadist: "Excellent so beat them up but don't kill them i want to torture them before i hang them high"
And so the Patriarch order his Men to beat them up they jump on them but they defented them with full Strength the Killer punch one after another away the Thief trick them avoid their Attacks, kick them in the Butt and let them run into Bowels the Indian fights with his Special Indian Fight Skills they are good Defenders but the Texans are to many so they get caught and locked into Cells the Killer and the Thief still resits while the Indian let him carry calm and say
The Indian: "Don't Worry"
The Killer screams
The Killer: "What don't worry what we doin now"
As they are in their Cells the Killer gets mad and crush at the Wall but the Indian says again
The Indian: "Don't Worry"
The Killer: "Tell me one Reason to don't get worry"
The Indian: "Here it is"
and the Wall crashes by some Dynamite and them free on the Outside theirs a Truck with an other Indian who is the Indian's Cousin and the Wayan's Brothers the Indian calls his Cousin
The Indian: "Cousin Flying Rain Worm im glad to see you"
they get into the Truck and Flying Rain Worm tell them we drive to Oklahoma the Conferateted Treasure is there
The Thief: "What do the Treasure in Oklahoma"
The Flying Rain Worm tells him
Flying Rain Worm: "As the War was over General Lee give the Treasure to some Muskogee Scouts who bring them to their Brothers in Olkahoma who save the Treasure until today to share them with the Black Men who are predigt in our old Legends"
And so they drive to the Oklahoma Muskogee where the Chiefhood greets them
Muskogee Chiefhood: "My Brothers welcome to our Village have a Seat and smoke some Peace Pipe with us"
and so they do after that they get on Horses and ride to the Cemetary where the Treasure also is buried meanwhile the Sadist and his Men are on the Way to the Cemetary too after they miss their Booties in Texas both arrive at the Cemetary the Blacks and Indians shortly before the Whites the burry the Treasure and as they finish the Klansmen arrive and the Sadist says
The Sadist: "Thanks for you Work but now handle the Treasure to us"
The Thief spotts
The Thief: "And why we should do that"
The Sadist: "Because with have your Mothers"
he laughs and show them and so the Blacks handle the Treasure and get their Mothers back the Klansmen want to ride away but they surrounded by the united Armys of the Five Cilizied Nations who take the Treasure and the Guns and Clothings of the Whites and bound and gag them, tar and feather them and sit them backwards on their Horses three per Horse and let them ride away where they belong too while they ride back to their Village and celebrate a big Party
Atlanta in the 20's:
Daniel Murphy is Rally a charming Thief, Trickster and Booze Smuggler and he is the Boss of the Rubber Boys a Gang of Smooth Criminals with cool Hats with feather trimming, light blue shirts striped Jackets, flat striped Pants and a Pocket Watch they stole a lot Stuff and sell a lot Stuff but they are not bad People who kill for fun but they fight ive they must real funny like Fred and Grady Rallys Part begins in a Strip Bar where he stole the Key of a Booze Truck from a Moonshiner while the Moonshiner watching the Hot Dance of Yolanda (Halle Berry) who is Rallys accomplice they drive away with the Truck it views a Animation The Thief
In the next Scene we see Tommy Lister Jr. as Bubba King of the Jungle the Leader of the Giant Gorillas a gang of Big Black Bald Hardass Killers whos the archfiends of the Rubber Boys in the first Scene they robb a Motel and kill everybody who is in inside with their Bear Hands they hit People to death the choke People to death and they crash People at the Wall to Death they drive away with their Booty and a Animation views The Killer
In the Next Scene we see John Durnsworth as a KKK Grand Dragon who sits on his Horse while other KKK Members torture the Men of a Black Family who is bounded on Trees with Hot Flames so they near at a painful Death while the Women and Girls of the Family are get raped brutally by perverted drunken KKK Members as all get finish they kill the whole Family and John Dunsworth take a Draft from his Whiskey Bottle and says
The Sadist: "One Nigger Tribe lesser" and a Animation views The Sadist
And they three Ways are get crossed in search of the confederated War Treasuere who is burrow in the Ground The Thief and the Killer where both hunted by the local Sheriff who turned out as the Sadist
The Thief and his Men drive the Whiskey to their Disbritur who is John Witherspoon and sell him the Whiskey and then they drive to their Hiding Place a little filthy Tavern where they play Pool, Billiard and made out with their Girls Rally hold a Speech:
Rally: "Hey Brothers watch out we make a lot of money and now i go in vacation to Miami and you can do what ever is your Desire you can do everything as long if you didn't bestray me in that case a will cut your Throat so happy Hang Out and Burn Out im on a Vacation" and drive with a Taxi to the Station"
The Killer are with his Men in their Hiding Place a Cave where their share their loot and the Killer says
Killer: "We all got a little Bit and now everybody goes on the next Robb we build small Teams Deero go with Tyrone Zachariah go with Ernesto and Bulldog and Ramir with Smasher and Crasher you People drive with the Cars and i drive with the Train to Miami to robb some Casinos and he go to a Taxi too to the Station
At the Station the both don't seen each other and go to the Train where they sit on wide afar Wagons the Thief sit in his Wagon read a bit in his Newspaper where there stands Little Clown with funny Beard talks funny Things about the Jews in Munich the Varitee is amused then he trys to sleep but there comes the Foodboy who is Eddy Murphy and says
Foodboy: "What do you want to eat i got Fried Chicken, Seafood Gumbo, Sweet Potato Mash, Sweet Potato Fries Corn Bread and Mint Julep"
The Thief: "I take everything"
meanwhile in the Gorilla Class the Killer orders by a Gorilla Foodboy 30 rare Steaks and 12 Sixpacks
Gorilla Foodboy: "What do you want to eat"
The Killer: "30 rare Steaks and 12 Sixpacks"
after this big Meal they both must go to the Toilet who is in the middle of their each Wagons and so they met each other in Front of the Toilet they must extremly important on this Toilet and so no one of them both want to resign and so they begin a Fight Bubba hit Rally with is Iron Fist he is heavily wounded but he didn't give up and hit him with his comparative small Fists and Feet over and over again Bubba hit him again and Rally is near at the End but he didn't Stop to hit on Bubba and so Bubba prepare for a third deadly Hit but Rally avoids and Bubba hit in the Toilet Door and lose his Control so they both crash into the Door and fall in the Toilet from where they stand up dry them clean, shake the opposites Hand and close a Cease Fire for now though they don't even know yet that this Alliance is really important because they have a Mighty Enemy who track on them
Long View of the The Sadist an his Men while they riding a few driving with Motorbikes and the heavy armed while theirs play the typical Music meanwhile
The Thief and the Killer arrive in Miami where they check in in the El Segundo Inn the Clerk is Demond Wilson and he says
Clerk: "One or Two Beds"
The Killer Screams
The Killer: "What the fuck do we look like Faggots"
Clerk: "I better say nothing"
The Killer: "Thats a good Idea...hey"
Rally: "Two Beds and whats for meal"
Clerk: "Chilli con Carne"
Rally: "Thats great"
and so they go to their Room enpackage their Package take some Drinks from the Mini Bar and then they fall tired in their Beds at the next Morning the Killer wake up take a shower take some drinks and then wake the Thief
The Killer: "Come on stand up and take some Shower you little Bastard"
Rally opens his Eyes
Rally: "Which Day is it"
The Killer: "Payoff Day"
and smiles so Rally stand up and take a Shower while the Killer take a few more Drinks after that they take Chilli for Breakfast the Clerk aks
Clerk: "Hows the Couple today hope you have a amazing Wedding Night"
The Killer want to strangle the Clerk
The Killer: "Shut up you fucking Idiot you think you funny right but i will show you how funny i am"
but the Thief hold him back
The Thief: "Hey come down don't forget its Payoff Day"
The Killer: "You right"
and let the Clerk down and they both leave the Motel and walk to the Casino on the Way the buy some Tacos and from the Killers Taco theres dropping some Hot Sauce on a Mexican (Larry Thomas) who holds his Siesta at the Bottom the Mexican scream
Mexican: "Hey you ugly Gorilla watch out wheres your Sauce is dropping to"
The Killer turns back and looks psycho this fears the Mexican to Death and he says
Mexican: "Im Sorry its allright i like hot Sauce on my Face see i cream me in with this"
After that they arrive at the Casino where they get Drinks the Killer go to the Cube Table and scream
The Killer: "Allright Daddy need a new Sombrero"
and the Thief get at the Slot Machines the Killer have bad Luck with the Cubes and change to the Blackjack Table where he also have Bad Luck so he change to the Poker Table where he plays with Jack Nicholson, Christopher Llyod and Danny de Vito and loss all his Money so he get to the Thief at the Slot Machines who are not so expensive because of that the Thief lose the Money not so fast but he lose too he just have one Quarter over and this Quarter he toss in the Slot Machine and the Pattern forms a Southern Flag and there comes one Coin with also a Soutern Flag on it comes out and the Pattern changes again to the Words
"Wen you search for it you will get it" and then the Pattern turns regular again The Killer says
The Killer: "What to fuck was that"
The Thief: "I have a Idea but where must be search?"
Meanwhile the Sadist an his men arrive in Miami where they walk go to the El Segundo on the Way the Sadist kicks on the Mexican who says
Mexican: "What stinky Bastard was this again"
looks up and see the evil smilin Rednecks and say
Mexican: "Oh Pardon its allright i like Feet thats kicking me"
and so the Rednecks kick him to death and then they walk in the El Segundo and the Sadist asks
The Sadist: "Where are the Two Niggers"
Clerk: "What Niggers do you talkin about i knew no Niggers
The Sadist: "Dont lie on me Nigger it will not be good for you"
but the Clerk didn't say where they are even he's feared to death in the Inside he stay hard and so they hostage him and bond him with a Cord on the Horse and grinding him but he didn't say it so they do the same with a Motorbike he is heavy wounded but he still say any Word so they put him on a Table and cut in his Finger Tips and put Chilli Powder inside this endless Torture brings him finally to a Confession
Clerk: "They went to the Casino"
The Sadist: "Thats all i liked to know"
turn back and give the Commando shut him in the Head
The Sadist: "Shut this lousy old Nigger"
The Sadist an his Men went to the Casino but the Killer and the Thief are allready far away they are on a Train to New Orleans because the Thief remember he heard a Story of a missed confederate War Treasure thats assumed in New Orleans on the Train the search a quiet Wagon sit down and try to sleep a moment of silence than crash an Indian trough the blanket he has long black Hair braided to a Plat wears no shirt have brown skin a muscular Body and traditional Indian Tatoos such as an Eagle and an Bufallo he says
The Indian: "Hey Folks im Quatche from the Chicasaw and my Chiefhood send me to help you to find the Confederated War Treasure we three can get it and we share as three but we must beware of the Sadist and his Men they like Devils"
The View change to the Sadist an his Men riding to West the Sadist say
The Sadist: "So long they are lucky but soon i will found them and then they feel the first Time in their Life whats real Pain means"
Switch back to the Thief, the Killer and the Indian who arrive in New Orleans the Indian says
The Indian: "I know a nice Hotel in the French Quarter"
where they walk trough from the Station they see a lot of Jazz Bands, Hookers, Gamblers and Alligator Stick Traders on the Street and its Voodoo in the Air as they pass a little Voodoo Shop theres sitting a old ugly Witch and a young sexy mysterios Witch (Lisa Bonet) before the Shop and watching them afterwards and smile they now that this Men are stricked in something diabolical they arrive at the Hotel who is in old French Cononical Style and owned by a strange Frenchman who greets them
Frenchman: "'allo my Brothers welcome to my Etablishment i give you my best Rooms and when you have a Desire any Kind of Desire call me and i please your Desires"
The Thief: "And what is when we didn't want get pleased by you"
Frenchman: "Ohho then i send my beautiful Nieces Monique and Rachel"
in this Moment they show up and they are really hot on has black Hair and the other blonde and both have soft skin big breasts and heavenly Asses and they are really beuatiful
The Thief: "Yes i think i like this Place"
they go to their Rooms enpackage their Package take some Drinks have some Fun with the Girls and then they got to eat it gives Gumbo with Duck, Alligator and Oysters and everybody enjoy the Meal after that they go out to the Night for some Jazz Concerts and a lot of Drinks they enjoy the famous Nightlife of New Orleans and take the Girls with them the Indian knows the best Places they go from Club to Club until they arrive at the best Club where they play one of the best Jazz Bands hot Jazz Rhytms and the all Dance and Rally got in Dance with that young sexy Witch how look afterwards them earlier she is real hot and have the sexyst Dance Moves ever she dance Rally in a Exstase of Sex and Voodoo where he is sinking in they have a Great Long and Hot Sex the best Sex he ever had after that they lie on the Beach and sleep while the Killer and the Indian drank Beer and Whiskey at a Beach Bar allnight long
At the next Morning Rally and the hot young Witch awake and they go to their Grandmother the Old Witch where she is looking in her Crystal Ball and tell them that their Trip is not finish yet, they found what they search not in New Orleans their Path leads to Texas and so they get on a Train to Texas while that the Sadist and his Men arrive in New Orleans and torture the young Witch they put their Head in Extremly Hot Water and destroy their Face but she didn't confess so the Sadist put her Head under Water much longer so she die as Wrath the old Witch put and evil Spell on them
The Thief, the Killer and the Indian arrive in Texas and walk trough some small Town who is surrounded by Cattle Farms everywhere are Cowboys and Gunmen the Gunmen examine them there's not many Blacks in this Area
The View change into a Manor in the Middle of the Town where a Patriarch in a white Suit and with a white Hat on sit in his Office with the Feet on his Table, smoke some Cigar and phone with somebody and says
Texan Patriarch: "They arrived"
The View is changed to the Man on the other Phone who is the Sadist who says
The Sadist: "Excellent so beat them up but don't kill them i want to torture them before i hang them high"
And so the Patriarch order his Men to beat them up they jump on them but they defented them with full Strength the Killer punch one after another away the Thief trick them avoid their Attacks, kick them in the Butt and let them run into Bowels the Indian fights with his Special Indian Fight Skills they are good Defenders but the Texans are to many so they get caught and locked into Cells the Killer and the Thief still resits while the Indian let him carry calm and say
The Indian: "Don't Worry"
The Killer screams
The Killer: "What don't worry what we doin now"
As they are in their Cells the Killer gets mad and crush at the Wall but the Indian says again
The Indian: "Don't Worry"
The Killer: "Tell me one Reason to don't get worry"
The Indian: "Here it is"
and the Wall crashes by some Dynamite and them free on the Outside theirs a Truck with an other Indian who is the Indian's Cousin and the Wayan's Brothers the Indian calls his Cousin
The Indian: "Cousin Flying Rain Worm im glad to see you"
they get into the Truck and Flying Rain Worm tell them we drive to Oklahoma the Conferateted Treasure is there
The Thief: "What do the Treasure in Oklahoma"
The Flying Rain Worm tells him
Flying Rain Worm: "As the War was over General Lee give the Treasure to some Muskogee Scouts who bring them to their Brothers in Olkahoma who save the Treasure until today to share them with the Black Men who are predigt in our old Legends"
And so they drive to the Oklahoma Muskogee where the Chiefhood greets them
Muskogee Chiefhood: "My Brothers welcome to our Village have a Seat and smoke some Peace Pipe with us"
and so they do after that they get on Horses and ride to the Cemetary where the Treasure also is buried meanwhile the Sadist and his Men are on the Way to the Cemetary too after they miss their Booties in Texas both arrive at the Cemetary the Blacks and Indians shortly before the Whites the burry the Treasure and as they finish the Klansmen arrive and the Sadist says
The Sadist: "Thanks for you Work but now handle the Treasure to us"
The Thief spotts
The Thief: "And why we should do that"
The Sadist: "Because with have your Mothers"
he laughs and show them and so the Blacks handle the Treasure and get their Mothers back the Klansmen want to ride away but they surrounded by the united Armys of the Five Cilizied Nations who take the Treasure and the Guns and Clothings of the Whites and bound and gag them, tar and feather them and sit them backwards on their Horses three per Horse and let them ride away where they belong too while they ride back to their Village and celebrate a big Party
Cheers Again
Cheers Again
Starring
Personal
Woody Harrelson as Woody Boyd
Jackie Swanson as Kelly Gaines Boyd
Angus T. Jones as William Henry "Willy" Boyd
Rhea Perlman as Carla Tortelli
Josh Lozoff as Gino Tortelli
Leah Remini as Serafina Tortelli
Guests
George Wendt as Norm
John Ratzenberger as Cliff
Paul Lee Willson as Paul
Seth Rogen as Seth
James Franco as Jimmy
Emilio Estevez as Emilio
Alexis Arquette as Wanda
Big Head Todd as Gagner
Re-Running Characters
Dan Hedaya as Nick Tortelli
Timothy Williams as Anthony Tortelli
Jarrett Lennon as Ludlow Tortelli
Jessica Simpson as Vixen Tortelli
Martin Starr as Marvin Glockheimer
Laura Marano as Pauleta
Larry Thomas as Rashir
Michael Richards as Grottlebarner
Eddie Murphy as himself
Yul Vazquez as Bob
John Paragon as Cedric
Jane Lynch as Linda
Sofía Vergara as Ramona
Denise Crosby as Silvy
In the First Episode the famous Politican Couple Gouvenour Woody Boyd and Senator Kelly Gaines Boyd retire from their Agencys the were honourful farewelled buy President Murphy and other famous Politicans in a Great Gala with lot a Press present
Eddie Murphy: "A great Farewell to the greatest Politican Couple of the American History"
A Reporter scream: "What's with the Clintons"
Eddie Murphy: "They don't count because they don't sleep together anymore"
The Reporter sits down "Im done"
They settle down with their 16 year Old fat and Lazy Son Willy in a Suburb of Boston and live a semi-retirement Suburban Life as they come in with the Taxi they are enpackage as they finish with that they begin their Life
Woody cuts the Grass, watch drunken Football and plan a Vendetta with his getting Older and search for Some Peace instead the loud and expensive Manhattan Gay Latino Couple Neighbor's Cedric and Bob they look at each other grimmy like Enemys when he is painting the House while Cedric and Boy builds a Dog House
Kelly cook some Pancakes and after that she go out and chat at the Garden Fence with the other Suburban Mums Linda, Ramona and Silvie about the Sexual Escapedas of the Other Mums
Linda: "Do you here what Sheila have down"
Silvie: "No what"
Linda: "She had a ménage a trois with Julio the Gardener and Billy the Plumber while she blowin Ronny the Cable Guy's Dick"
Ramona: "That horny Bitch"
as a Big Desperate Housewives Fan Kelly feelin compfortable and laugh with them
while Willy eats a lot of Pancakes and order some Family Pizza for himself, watch Cow & Chicken and Dexter's Laborety at Cartoon Network and play Halo 3 on the X-Box the Pizza comes he give no Tip and eat them while he watch Wrestling
they are happy but soon they decide that this is not Enough and the need some Improvement in their Life
One Day Woody walk down the Street and came down to the Cheers and see a Sign who tell that the Bar is to Sell and so he calls the Real Estate Agent and meet with him before the Cheers the Real Estate Agent is a freaky hibbly Guy in a Hawaii-Shirt a scuff Brown Jacket and too short Brown Trousers
Real Estate Agent Grottlebarner: "Are you Woody"
Woody: "Do you didn't know me i am the Former Gouvenor"
Grottlebarner: "Gouvenor of what"
Woody "Massachusets"
Grottlebarner "What's Massachusets"
Woody "The State you life in are you really that stupid even i know that"
Grottlebarner "See i don't care in which State i live in because i don't like States and i don't care for them"
Woody "That's Obvious"
Grottlebarner "What's with the Deal"
Woody is that enthuiastic that he buy the Cheers without bargain "I take it" the Real Estate Agent is very happy too shake his Hand and says "We have a Deal"
He comes home and tell the Family "I have the perfect Idea to improve our Boring Life that we stucked in the Moment we were Bar Owners i buyed the Cheers today" Willy asks "What's the Cheers" and Kelly says "Thats a Bar your Father worked in the 80's and the Early 90's" they all happy with the Idea and so they are the new Owners of the Cheers
They move in and soon as they put a Waitress searched on the Window there is Carla and ask for Work
Carla: "Im back in Woody"
Woody: "Thats great Carla we just need a Bartender"
Carla: "I know the right Guy my Son Gino"
Woody: "Hey i didn't see him for a long Time whats the little Rascal doin"
Carla: "He's released from Jail today"
Woody: "Well everybody did Mistakes he's in too that's great lets celebrate this"
Carla: "You don't need a Waitress too"
Woody: "Im sure we need a Diane in Here"
Carla: "Jesus not that bad my Daughter Serafina is bad enough"
Woody: "Great she's on Board too"
And so she calls Gino and Serfina with her Handy
Carla: "Hey Gino i got Work for you" and "Hey Seranfina i got Work for you"
and they both come in the Bar too and begin their Work
In this Moment Norm comes in and everybody screams "Hi Norm"
Norm: "Hi Folks gimme some Beer Woody" and then "It is possible that i am in the Cheers i thought it was closed for 16 Years"
Woody: "It was closed Mr. Petersen but now its reopenend"
Norm: "Thats good Lets celebrate this with Free Beer i think"
Woody: "Ok Mr. Petersen because it's you"
The Second Guest who comes in is Emilio a Garbageman who sits down shake his Bandana out says
"Thats a lot of Chemical Dust in the Garbage gimme some Beer Bartender to wash that out of my Lungs"
and Gino cone some Beer and shakes it over the Bar
The next Guests who comes in are Seth and Jimmy too Slackers who sitting down totally stoned and order some Beers and try to flirt with Serafina
Jimmy: "Hey you mediterran Fire wanna burn me with your hot Flames"
but she blocks out "In your Dreams"
Seth: "You can count on it"
Serafina anwers sniffy: "Get Some Shower and get Clean than lets talk again"
Seth: "Its just a Matter of Time"
Jimmy: "So say I"
Carla: "And that Time didn't went too long"
Cliff and Paul come in and
Cliff says "Wow the Cheers got open again and theres Norm why you not call us and tell us that Norm"
Norm "I got no Time must drink"
Willy sits next to Norm look at him and for now one he is Role Model he is to sort of Fat Drunk that he will be in this Age
Carla aks Woody "Do we have Green Olives"
Cliff: "Do you know that Green Olives are Black Olives that painted Green for real"
Paul: "Cliff shut up you tellin this stupid Storys for many Years i can stand it anymore"
Emilio: "He's right Cliff shut up"
Cliff: "What do you want Garbageman you don't even wearing a real Uniform"
Norm: "Cliff at least he wears his incompleted Uniform officially you wearing yours illegal you not a Mailman anymore"
Cliff: "In my Heart i will ever be a Mailman and no court order will hold me from that"
as next Marvin comes in a gawky Nerd with Glasses who is Willys Math Tutor and Seth and Jimmy laugh because he was in their School
Seth screams "Hey Loser i never thought that i see you in a Bar"
Jimmy "Well perhaps in a Gay Bar"
Marvin looks angry but don't have the Guts to say something
Kelly "Willy get ready for your Math Turtoring"
Willy "But i want stay here with Norm"
Kelly: "No i don't let you be throw the Way of a Fat Drunk its nothing against you Norm"
Norm "Its ok i am a Fat Drunk"
Kelly: "Be more like Marvin"
she looks at Marvin and he looking extremly nerdy so she says
Kelly: "Well perhaps not like Marvin but defintly not like anyone in this Bar"
And everybody says "Hey" and she said
Kelly: "You know what i mean"
and so the Boys sit down on the Table and Marvin tutors Willy Math Seranfina is bored and so she turns the music on hot tropical Rhytms and shes dancin to that very sexy Seth, Jimmy and Emilio are howling Norm and Paul are starring
Cliff: "Do you know that tropical rhytms are aborignial made to stay the Thunder God away
Paul: "That matters nobody shut up and enjoy the Show"
The Men are still howling and heckling and Serafina enjoys the Attention but she had this
"You can watch it but you can't get it"
Look even the Boys watching but Kelly goes to them
Kelly: "Watch in your Book"
Willy: "No i want watch the Stripper"
Kelly: "That's no Stripper thats our Waitress"
In this Moment the Owner of the Iranian Restaurant who replaced Melvins Rashir comes down and scream very angry
Rashid: "What is that Noise my Guests want to hear the slow and soft Rhytms of Persian Folklore while the enjoy my grandious Persian Cooking and nothing else"
Woody: "Im sorry Mr. Rashid we don't border your Guests anymore"
Carla: "But maybe the border themself"
Rashid: "Say nothing about my Customers Cher for the Poor"
Carla: "I can't say something about nothing thats are your Customers just like you a bunch of Chromosomes who counts Nothing like bad Saddam Look-a-Likes"
Rashid: "In my Country you will get hit with a Whip for such blasphemic Words"
Carla: "In my Country you get spanked for such Mustach by the Way cog the Mustard out of it you look like the Guy from Canibal Holocaust"
Rashid: "Ive done with that i just advised to make you to my Third Wife but that will never happen it's your own Fault"
Carla laughs: "What are the others a Donkey and a Chicken"
Rashir leave angry the Cheers and go back upstairs in his Restaurant
Carla: "One Idiot lesser lets move forward Cliff you the Next"
Woody: "No Carla we need our Customers to exist"
Carla: "Ok you right Woody just be quiet Cliff and drink more Beer"
Kelly: "More Beer than that"
Paul: "He don't drink that much he is still one Step beyond a Norm Petersen"
Norm: "That's Right im Undefeatable"
in this Moment Pauls Chair crush down everybody laughs
Paul: "This Chairs are not that anymore they where 16 Years ago"
Norm spotts "Maybe it is why you as double as fat as 16 Years ago"
In this Moment his Chair crush too
Norm: "Ok maybe the Chairs are not that anymore they been 16 Years ago
In this Moment the Transvestite Wanda comes in and sit at the Bar she order her Drink
Wanda: "One Bloody Mary please Sweet Boy"
Gino: "Allright Mr. Dracula"
Wanda: "Mrs. Dracula please"
Gino fix it and give it to her
Cliff is smilin and winking at her she is smilin and winking back
Norm "You know that she had a bigger Stick than you"
Cliff loose his Smile and turn back
In this Moment Gagner comes in a big and strong but soft and shy Guy with Akne and a Afro wearing a Muscle Shirt he sit down
Gagner: "One Beer please"
Gino: "Allright Mr. Frankenstein"
Gagner looking a little bit angry but then his Look wandering to the Transvestite and they both fall in Love for the First Look while Gino fix the Beer and want to give it to Gagner but he have only Eyes for Wanda
Gagner: "You are so beautiful"
Wanda gets red: "Oh thank you Mr. Charming you look cute too"
Gagner: "Want to leave this Bar after that Drink with me and have some Fun"
Wanda: "I want Nothing More than that"
and so they leave together holding Hands
Gino: "So we have a new strange Couple in her"
Carla: "Not as that strange as Cliff and his right Hand"
Paul laughs
Carla: "Or Paul and his Hoover"
Paul didn't laugh anymore but than he reminds of something
Paul: "I remember when you were my Hoover"
Carla try to attack paul but Woody hold her back
Woody: "What a Circus i missed that so im glad that i have this back"
Starring
Personal
Woody Harrelson as Woody Boyd
Jackie Swanson as Kelly Gaines Boyd
Angus T. Jones as William Henry "Willy" Boyd
Rhea Perlman as Carla Tortelli
Josh Lozoff as Gino Tortelli
Leah Remini as Serafina Tortelli
Guests
George Wendt as Norm
John Ratzenberger as Cliff
Paul Lee Willson as Paul
Seth Rogen as Seth
James Franco as Jimmy
Emilio Estevez as Emilio
Alexis Arquette as Wanda
Big Head Todd as Gagner
Re-Running Characters
Dan Hedaya as Nick Tortelli
Timothy Williams as Anthony Tortelli
Jarrett Lennon as Ludlow Tortelli
Jessica Simpson as Vixen Tortelli
Martin Starr as Marvin Glockheimer
Laura Marano as Pauleta
Larry Thomas as Rashir
Michael Richards as Grottlebarner
Eddie Murphy as himself
Yul Vazquez as Bob
John Paragon as Cedric
Jane Lynch as Linda
Sofía Vergara as Ramona
Denise Crosby as Silvy
In the First Episode the famous Politican Couple Gouvenour Woody Boyd and Senator Kelly Gaines Boyd retire from their Agencys the were honourful farewelled buy President Murphy and other famous Politicans in a Great Gala with lot a Press present
Eddie Murphy: "A great Farewell to the greatest Politican Couple of the American History"
A Reporter scream: "What's with the Clintons"
Eddie Murphy: "They don't count because they don't sleep together anymore"
The Reporter sits down "Im done"
They settle down with their 16 year Old fat and Lazy Son Willy in a Suburb of Boston and live a semi-retirement Suburban Life as they come in with the Taxi they are enpackage as they finish with that they begin their Life
Woody cuts the Grass, watch drunken Football and plan a Vendetta with his getting Older and search for Some Peace instead the loud and expensive Manhattan Gay Latino Couple Neighbor's Cedric and Bob they look at each other grimmy like Enemys when he is painting the House while Cedric and Boy builds a Dog House
Kelly cook some Pancakes and after that she go out and chat at the Garden Fence with the other Suburban Mums Linda, Ramona and Silvie about the Sexual Escapedas of the Other Mums
Linda: "Do you here what Sheila have down"
Silvie: "No what"
Linda: "She had a ménage a trois with Julio the Gardener and Billy the Plumber while she blowin Ronny the Cable Guy's Dick"
Ramona: "That horny Bitch"
as a Big Desperate Housewives Fan Kelly feelin compfortable and laugh with them
while Willy eats a lot of Pancakes and order some Family Pizza for himself, watch Cow & Chicken and Dexter's Laborety at Cartoon Network and play Halo 3 on the X-Box the Pizza comes he give no Tip and eat them while he watch Wrestling
they are happy but soon they decide that this is not Enough and the need some Improvement in their Life
One Day Woody walk down the Street and came down to the Cheers and see a Sign who tell that the Bar is to Sell and so he calls the Real Estate Agent and meet with him before the Cheers the Real Estate Agent is a freaky hibbly Guy in a Hawaii-Shirt a scuff Brown Jacket and too short Brown Trousers
Real Estate Agent Grottlebarner: "Are you Woody"
Woody: "Do you didn't know me i am the Former Gouvenor"
Grottlebarner: "Gouvenor of what"
Woody "Massachusets"
Grottlebarner "What's Massachusets"
Woody "The State you life in are you really that stupid even i know that"
Grottlebarner "See i don't care in which State i live in because i don't like States and i don't care for them"
Woody "That's Obvious"
Grottlebarner "What's with the Deal"
Woody is that enthuiastic that he buy the Cheers without bargain "I take it" the Real Estate Agent is very happy too shake his Hand and says "We have a Deal"
He comes home and tell the Family "I have the perfect Idea to improve our Boring Life that we stucked in the Moment we were Bar Owners i buyed the Cheers today" Willy asks "What's the Cheers" and Kelly says "Thats a Bar your Father worked in the 80's and the Early 90's" they all happy with the Idea and so they are the new Owners of the Cheers
They move in and soon as they put a Waitress searched on the Window there is Carla and ask for Work
Carla: "Im back in Woody"
Woody: "Thats great Carla we just need a Bartender"
Carla: "I know the right Guy my Son Gino"
Woody: "Hey i didn't see him for a long Time whats the little Rascal doin"
Carla: "He's released from Jail today"
Woody: "Well everybody did Mistakes he's in too that's great lets celebrate this"
Carla: "You don't need a Waitress too"
Woody: "Im sure we need a Diane in Here"
Carla: "Jesus not that bad my Daughter Serafina is bad enough"
Woody: "Great she's on Board too"
And so she calls Gino and Serfina with her Handy
Carla: "Hey Gino i got Work for you" and "Hey Seranfina i got Work for you"
and they both come in the Bar too and begin their Work
In this Moment Norm comes in and everybody screams "Hi Norm"
Norm: "Hi Folks gimme some Beer Woody" and then "It is possible that i am in the Cheers i thought it was closed for 16 Years"
Woody: "It was closed Mr. Petersen but now its reopenend"
Norm: "Thats good Lets celebrate this with Free Beer i think"
Woody: "Ok Mr. Petersen because it's you"
The Second Guest who comes in is Emilio a Garbageman who sits down shake his Bandana out says
"Thats a lot of Chemical Dust in the Garbage gimme some Beer Bartender to wash that out of my Lungs"
and Gino cone some Beer and shakes it over the Bar
The next Guests who comes in are Seth and Jimmy too Slackers who sitting down totally stoned and order some Beers and try to flirt with Serafina
Jimmy: "Hey you mediterran Fire wanna burn me with your hot Flames"
but she blocks out "In your Dreams"
Seth: "You can count on it"
Serafina anwers sniffy: "Get Some Shower and get Clean than lets talk again"
Seth: "Its just a Matter of Time"
Jimmy: "So say I"
Carla: "And that Time didn't went too long"
Cliff and Paul come in and
Cliff says "Wow the Cheers got open again and theres Norm why you not call us and tell us that Norm"
Norm "I got no Time must drink"
Willy sits next to Norm look at him and for now one he is Role Model he is to sort of Fat Drunk that he will be in this Age
Carla aks Woody "Do we have Green Olives"
Cliff: "Do you know that Green Olives are Black Olives that painted Green for real"
Paul: "Cliff shut up you tellin this stupid Storys for many Years i can stand it anymore"
Emilio: "He's right Cliff shut up"
Cliff: "What do you want Garbageman you don't even wearing a real Uniform"
Norm: "Cliff at least he wears his incompleted Uniform officially you wearing yours illegal you not a Mailman anymore"
Cliff: "In my Heart i will ever be a Mailman and no court order will hold me from that"
as next Marvin comes in a gawky Nerd with Glasses who is Willys Math Tutor and Seth and Jimmy laugh because he was in their School
Seth screams "Hey Loser i never thought that i see you in a Bar"
Jimmy "Well perhaps in a Gay Bar"
Marvin looks angry but don't have the Guts to say something
Kelly "Willy get ready for your Math Turtoring"
Willy "But i want stay here with Norm"
Kelly: "No i don't let you be throw the Way of a Fat Drunk its nothing against you Norm"
Norm "Its ok i am a Fat Drunk"
Kelly: "Be more like Marvin"
she looks at Marvin and he looking extremly nerdy so she says
Kelly: "Well perhaps not like Marvin but defintly not like anyone in this Bar"
And everybody says "Hey" and she said
Kelly: "You know what i mean"
and so the Boys sit down on the Table and Marvin tutors Willy Math Seranfina is bored and so she turns the music on hot tropical Rhytms and shes dancin to that very sexy Seth, Jimmy and Emilio are howling Norm and Paul are starring
Cliff: "Do you know that tropical rhytms are aborignial made to stay the Thunder God away
Paul: "That matters nobody shut up and enjoy the Show"
The Men are still howling and heckling and Serafina enjoys the Attention but she had this
"You can watch it but you can't get it"
Look even the Boys watching but Kelly goes to them
Kelly: "Watch in your Book"
Willy: "No i want watch the Stripper"
Kelly: "That's no Stripper thats our Waitress"
In this Moment the Owner of the Iranian Restaurant who replaced Melvins Rashir comes down and scream very angry
Rashid: "What is that Noise my Guests want to hear the slow and soft Rhytms of Persian Folklore while the enjoy my grandious Persian Cooking and nothing else"
Woody: "Im sorry Mr. Rashid we don't border your Guests anymore"
Carla: "But maybe the border themself"
Rashid: "Say nothing about my Customers Cher for the Poor"
Carla: "I can't say something about nothing thats are your Customers just like you a bunch of Chromosomes who counts Nothing like bad Saddam Look-a-Likes"
Rashid: "In my Country you will get hit with a Whip for such blasphemic Words"
Carla: "In my Country you get spanked for such Mustach by the Way cog the Mustard out of it you look like the Guy from Canibal Holocaust"
Rashid: "Ive done with that i just advised to make you to my Third Wife but that will never happen it's your own Fault"
Carla laughs: "What are the others a Donkey and a Chicken"
Rashir leave angry the Cheers and go back upstairs in his Restaurant
Carla: "One Idiot lesser lets move forward Cliff you the Next"
Woody: "No Carla we need our Customers to exist"
Carla: "Ok you right Woody just be quiet Cliff and drink more Beer"
Kelly: "More Beer than that"
Paul: "He don't drink that much he is still one Step beyond a Norm Petersen"
Norm: "That's Right im Undefeatable"
in this Moment Pauls Chair crush down everybody laughs
Paul: "This Chairs are not that anymore they where 16 Years ago"
Norm spotts "Maybe it is why you as double as fat as 16 Years ago"
In this Moment his Chair crush too
Norm: "Ok maybe the Chairs are not that anymore they been 16 Years ago
In this Moment the Transvestite Wanda comes in and sit at the Bar she order her Drink
Wanda: "One Bloody Mary please Sweet Boy"
Gino: "Allright Mr. Dracula"
Wanda: "Mrs. Dracula please"
Gino fix it and give it to her
Cliff is smilin and winking at her she is smilin and winking back
Norm "You know that she had a bigger Stick than you"
Cliff loose his Smile and turn back
In this Moment Gagner comes in a big and strong but soft and shy Guy with Akne and a Afro wearing a Muscle Shirt he sit down
Gagner: "One Beer please"
Gino: "Allright Mr. Frankenstein"
Gagner looking a little bit angry but then his Look wandering to the Transvestite and they both fall in Love for the First Look while Gino fix the Beer and want to give it to Gagner but he have only Eyes for Wanda
Gagner: "You are so beautiful"
Wanda gets red: "Oh thank you Mr. Charming you look cute too"
Gagner: "Want to leave this Bar after that Drink with me and have some Fun"
Wanda: "I want Nothing More than that"
and so they leave together holding Hands
Gino: "So we have a new strange Couple in her"
Carla: "Not as that strange as Cliff and his right Hand"
Paul laughs
Carla: "Or Paul and his Hoover"
Paul didn't laugh anymore but than he reminds of something
Paul: "I remember when you were my Hoover"
Carla try to attack paul but Woody hold her back
Woody: "What a Circus i missed that so im glad that i have this back"
Donnerstag, Juli 30, 2009
Tropical Fever Episode 3
Episode 3: The Dictator gets a Turkey
The Dictator sits in his Office in the Chair and strechtes his feet over the Table, he drinks some Rum, smoke some Cigar and listen to Tropical Music its a beautiful sunny Day and Ruben & Kabush dancin with Hawaii Shirts On they look forward to a relaxin Weekend Its Thanksgiving Day and the Salagar's other Daughter Denica comes to visit them, she is pregnant again and again from an other Man and have their 4 Boys with her Antonio Esteban Rolando and Jimmy then Ernesto reminds that he got no Turkey yet and so he jumps up the Chair and run to his car and drive to the Supermarket and his hoping that they had one over meanwhile in the Salagards House
Beatrice and Conchita have a fight again about the Diamond Coulier who Conchita has become by the Nations Possibly Next Leader
Beatrice: "You give that Diamond Coulier back to that Boy"
Conchita: "No I don't will do that"
and than Felipe fight with his Mother about that he is invited to Esmeraldas House but his Father wants that he celebrate Thanksgiving with his Family
Felipe: "But Mum i love this Girl and i want to celebrate Thanksgiving with her and her Family"
Beatrice: "But your Father want that you stay at Home and celebrate Thanksgiving with us"
Felipe: "But i celbrate all Thanksgiving of the last 17 Years with the Family why i can't celebrate one Thanksgiving away from Home"
Beatrice: "Your Father want it so and it give no Discussion over that"
Felipe: "That's so unfair"
and the Baby notice that is no Turkey so he think when he can beat a Army of Rats he also can hunt some Turkey and so he put his Rifle and go for the Hunt
Then Denica arrives at Home with her Boys who jump over Felipe and beat him down while the Girls kiss each other and celebrate their Reunion
Denica: "Hey Girls i missed you so much"
Beatrice: "We too my beloved Daughter"
Conchita: "Hey my big Sister how are you"
Denica: "Im fine what about you"
Conchita: "Better than ever look what a sweet Boy give to me a beautiful Diamond Coulier
Conchita shows her Sister her new Diamond Coulier and Denica is allsay amazed
Denica: "You right thats really a beautiful Coulier and it comes likely from a nice sweet Boy"
what Beatrice brings into Rage
Beatrice: "Why you trowhing a Knife in to my Back"
Denica is laughing "What?"
meanwhile Ernesto arrives in the Supermarket and see's thats only one Turkey over and his worst Enemy Fredo Rizitelli is looking for the same Turkey they both ran to it they both grab it and the both don't wann get lose so they fight each other with their Fists and Their Feet until Death and after a long and brutal fight both scream
Fredo Rizzitelli: "Let it lose its my Turkey"
Ernesto. "Try to take it from my warm and hard Fists"
The Dictator wins again and get the Turkey while his Contrarent only get Beloni so the Day is saved again and the Dictator drives Home but Fredo don't give up and try to ram him from the Street but after a short race Ernesto brakes down and change the course and Fredo bang into a Staple of Burning Wheels so the Day is now saved again for Real
Meanwhile Beatrice talk into Conchita to give the Diamond Coulier back to the Boy and reject his Love but Denica streghtend her Sister to share the Love of the Boy
Beatrice: "You give it back to that Boy when you take it he thinks that you want to be his Wife"
Conchita: "Maybe i will be his Wife"
Beatrice: "You much too young"
Denica: "Mum im married when i was 16 too"
Beatrice: "Thats why you are a Slut and you were pregnant"
Denica: "Now im finally take Conchitas Side hold that Diamond Coulier and marry that Boy he loves you and you loves him
Felipe is sad because he don't can eat with his Flame Esmeralda Ramon is by him and asks Ramon about Denica
Ramon: "Do you thinks she likes me, i think she is very Hot"
Felipe: "Forget it"
Ramon: "I think i have a Chance"
Felipe: "In your Dreams"
Ramon: "You don't believe me Well i prove it"
he go downstairs to make some Sandwich and speak to Denica
Ramon: "Hi Denica"
Denica: "Hi Slimy Ballbag i heard everything and im disgustedly you can go back upstairs"
Felipe "She likes you ha?"
and the Baby is out in the Jungle to hunt some Turkey or other Big Pouldry and so he found a Pheasant and try to shoot him but he ran away and the Baby rans behind him this happens 4time again and the Baby gets angry and he try it with a Giant Trap he prepare it under a Tree and hide in the Bushes but the Pheaseant didn't show up the Baby wait and wait then he see the Pheasant in the Distant and run for it but the Pheaseant run in the Circle so the Baby get confused and just before he can look he is in the Trap by himself this make the Baby even angryer and so he try it with Dynamite he prepare the Dynamite near a Stone and hides in the Bushes again after a short Time the Pheasant show up the Baby pulls the Trigger but nothing happend so he go to the Dynamite and the Pheasant is run away and in this Moment the Dynamite explodes and throw the Baby Miles away and he scream "Again" after that they close a Ceasefire and get Friends and walk together to the Salagar's House
Meanwhile the Dictator is on his Way home and the Girls discutate about the Boy Thing and they finally come to an Solution they all can fit with Conchita gets the Coulier but reject the Boys Love
Denica: "I think i got the finally Solution how about you take the Diamond Coulier and reject the Boys Love
Beatrice: "That's fine for me"
Conchita: "For me too i never been really interessted in the Boy just in the Diamond Coulier"
Denica: "I got a Solution for Felipes Problem too how about Esmeralda come in our House and join our Thanksgiving Meal"
Felipe: "Thats a great Idea i call her"
and so he do
Felipe: "Allthough I can't go to your House how about you come to our House"
Esmeralda: "I go ask my Parents... That's fine for them they agree my Mother is driving me over in a few Minutes"
Felipe: "Great until then my beloved Sugarcat"
Esmerlada: "I love you too my strong Knight"
and soon she arrived for the first Time at the Salagars House Felipe kiss her
Felipe: "Hi Honey"
Esmeralda: "Hi Stevia" also the Dictator with the Turkey and the Baby with the Pheasant arrive but he is alive and eats the Turkey too because he and the Baby close a Ceasefire and get Friends so they share a amazing Thanksgiving Dinner together and after that they all Couples go to their Rooms Ernesto and Beatrice to the Parents Room and Felipe and Esmeralda to the Boys Room while the Girls, the Boys, the Baby and the Pheasant play a Game of Monopoly and have much Fun
Denica: "Lets play a Match of Monopoly together"
Conchita: "O yeah that will be much Fun"
The Dictator sits in his Office in the Chair and strechtes his feet over the Table, he drinks some Rum, smoke some Cigar and listen to Tropical Music its a beautiful sunny Day and Ruben & Kabush dancin with Hawaii Shirts On they look forward to a relaxin Weekend Its Thanksgiving Day and the Salagar's other Daughter Denica comes to visit them, she is pregnant again and again from an other Man and have their 4 Boys with her Antonio Esteban Rolando and Jimmy then Ernesto reminds that he got no Turkey yet and so he jumps up the Chair and run to his car and drive to the Supermarket and his hoping that they had one over meanwhile in the Salagards House
Beatrice and Conchita have a fight again about the Diamond Coulier who Conchita has become by the Nations Possibly Next Leader
Beatrice: "You give that Diamond Coulier back to that Boy"
Conchita: "No I don't will do that"
and than Felipe fight with his Mother about that he is invited to Esmeraldas House but his Father wants that he celebrate Thanksgiving with his Family
Felipe: "But Mum i love this Girl and i want to celebrate Thanksgiving with her and her Family"
Beatrice: "But your Father want that you stay at Home and celebrate Thanksgiving with us"
Felipe: "But i celbrate all Thanksgiving of the last 17 Years with the Family why i can't celebrate one Thanksgiving away from Home"
Beatrice: "Your Father want it so and it give no Discussion over that"
Felipe: "That's so unfair"
and the Baby notice that is no Turkey so he think when he can beat a Army of Rats he also can hunt some Turkey and so he put his Rifle and go for the Hunt
Then Denica arrives at Home with her Boys who jump over Felipe and beat him down while the Girls kiss each other and celebrate their Reunion
Denica: "Hey Girls i missed you so much"
Beatrice: "We too my beloved Daughter"
Conchita: "Hey my big Sister how are you"
Denica: "Im fine what about you"
Conchita: "Better than ever look what a sweet Boy give to me a beautiful Diamond Coulier
Conchita shows her Sister her new Diamond Coulier and Denica is allsay amazed
Denica: "You right thats really a beautiful Coulier and it comes likely from a nice sweet Boy"
what Beatrice brings into Rage
Beatrice: "Why you trowhing a Knife in to my Back"
Denica is laughing "What?"
meanwhile Ernesto arrives in the Supermarket and see's thats only one Turkey over and his worst Enemy Fredo Rizitelli is looking for the same Turkey they both ran to it they both grab it and the both don't wann get lose so they fight each other with their Fists and Their Feet until Death and after a long and brutal fight both scream
Fredo Rizzitelli: "Let it lose its my Turkey"
Ernesto. "Try to take it from my warm and hard Fists"
The Dictator wins again and get the Turkey while his Contrarent only get Beloni so the Day is saved again and the Dictator drives Home but Fredo don't give up and try to ram him from the Street but after a short race Ernesto brakes down and change the course and Fredo bang into a Staple of Burning Wheels so the Day is now saved again for Real
Meanwhile Beatrice talk into Conchita to give the Diamond Coulier back to the Boy and reject his Love but Denica streghtend her Sister to share the Love of the Boy
Beatrice: "You give it back to that Boy when you take it he thinks that you want to be his Wife"
Conchita: "Maybe i will be his Wife"
Beatrice: "You much too young"
Denica: "Mum im married when i was 16 too"
Beatrice: "Thats why you are a Slut and you were pregnant"
Denica: "Now im finally take Conchitas Side hold that Diamond Coulier and marry that Boy he loves you and you loves him
Felipe is sad because he don't can eat with his Flame Esmeralda Ramon is by him and asks Ramon about Denica
Ramon: "Do you thinks she likes me, i think she is very Hot"
Felipe: "Forget it"
Ramon: "I think i have a Chance"
Felipe: "In your Dreams"
Ramon: "You don't believe me Well i prove it"
he go downstairs to make some Sandwich and speak to Denica
Ramon: "Hi Denica"
Denica: "Hi Slimy Ballbag i heard everything and im disgustedly you can go back upstairs"
Felipe "She likes you ha?"
and the Baby is out in the Jungle to hunt some Turkey or other Big Pouldry and so he found a Pheasant and try to shoot him but he ran away and the Baby rans behind him this happens 4time again and the Baby gets angry and he try it with a Giant Trap he prepare it under a Tree and hide in the Bushes but the Pheaseant didn't show up the Baby wait and wait then he see the Pheasant in the Distant and run for it but the Pheaseant run in the Circle so the Baby get confused and just before he can look he is in the Trap by himself this make the Baby even angryer and so he try it with Dynamite he prepare the Dynamite near a Stone and hides in the Bushes again after a short Time the Pheasant show up the Baby pulls the Trigger but nothing happend so he go to the Dynamite and the Pheasant is run away and in this Moment the Dynamite explodes and throw the Baby Miles away and he scream "Again" after that they close a Ceasefire and get Friends and walk together to the Salagar's House
Meanwhile the Dictator is on his Way home and the Girls discutate about the Boy Thing and they finally come to an Solution they all can fit with Conchita gets the Coulier but reject the Boys Love
Denica: "I think i got the finally Solution how about you take the Diamond Coulier and reject the Boys Love
Beatrice: "That's fine for me"
Conchita: "For me too i never been really interessted in the Boy just in the Diamond Coulier"
Denica: "I got a Solution for Felipes Problem too how about Esmeralda come in our House and join our Thanksgiving Meal"
Felipe: "Thats a great Idea i call her"
and so he do
Felipe: "Allthough I can't go to your House how about you come to our House"
Esmeralda: "I go ask my Parents... That's fine for them they agree my Mother is driving me over in a few Minutes"
Felipe: "Great until then my beloved Sugarcat"
Esmerlada: "I love you too my strong Knight"
and soon she arrived for the first Time at the Salagars House Felipe kiss her
Felipe: "Hi Honey"
Esmeralda: "Hi Stevia" also the Dictator with the Turkey and the Baby with the Pheasant arrive but he is alive and eats the Turkey too because he and the Baby close a Ceasefire and get Friends so they share a amazing Thanksgiving Dinner together and after that they all Couples go to their Rooms Ernesto and Beatrice to the Parents Room and Felipe and Esmeralda to the Boys Room while the Girls, the Boys, the Baby and the Pheasant play a Game of Monopoly and have much Fun
Denica: "Lets play a Match of Monopoly together"
Conchita: "O yeah that will be much Fun"
Donnerstag, Juli 23, 2009
Tropical Fever Episode 2
Episode 2: The Dictator has an Enemy
The Dictator's worst Enemy plans a Strike against him like he's every day doin to dump him from his Throne and take his Place his Name is Fredo Rizitelli he wears a Cape and a Eyemask and is the Leader of the Revolutionary Communist Liberation Front who is much worser than the Actual Regime today he have a new Plan to dump the Dictator from his Throne and get Dictator instead of him he explain his Plan to his dumb but loyal Helpers Sergio and Roberto Sergio is a slender Guy wearing a Red and White Striped Shirt a Red Bandana and a Eye Patch Roberto is a fat Guy with a Brown-Green Striped Shirt a Green Bandana and also a Eyepatch
Fredo Rizzitelli: "You lead the Rebels to cause some trouble on the Streets where the Rebels are in Fight with the National Security to attract their look away from their Leader so that I can jump with a Wire on Ernestos Balustrade and chop his Head off and claim the Throne that i want for myself for so much Years an finally can be the Dictator of this wonderful Country"
Roberto: "Oh this Plan is magnificent"
Sergio: "Yeah thats a good Plan"
and they all laugh evil
Meanwhile in the Salagars House Conchita try to talk her Mother in to buy her a Diamond Coulier
Conchita: "Please Mum buy me that Diamond Coulier Dad can afford it easily damn he's the Dictator he can get everything"
Beatrice: "The Thing is have you earn this?
Conchita: "I do everything for that"
Beatrice: "What you doin for this?"
Conchita: "I clean my Room"
Beatrice: "And that is a Favour to us?"
and walks into the Kitchen wheres Conchita follows her
Conchita: "Mum please"
Meanwhile the Phone rings and Felipe hang up
Felipe "Salagar Residence Felipe on Line
and Esmeralda is on the Line
Esmeralda: "Hey Felipe my cute Darling who are you"
Felipe: "Hey my beloved Esmeralda im that enthuiastic for your Visit this Weekend"
Esmeralda. "Hey Felipe thats what im talk about with you i can't visit you this Weekend"
Felipe: "Why?"
Esmeralda: "Me and my Family visit our Relatives in San Homunda this Weekend im sorry maybe i show up for a Visit by you next Weekend"
Felipe: "Oh"
Esmeralda: "Are you ok with that?"
Felipe: "Yes im Fine"
so he calls his Friend Ramon
Felipe: "Hey Ramon wanna play some Star Trek Role Play on the Weekend with me"
Ramon: "O Yeah that would be great My Mum is driving me to you in a few Minutes"
The Baby sits on his Chair and notice some Rat who rans thru the House right to Bathroom and jumps in the Toilet the Baby take the Chase and jumps in into the Toilet and flushs down and scream "Over again"
Meanwhile the Riot on the Streets begin the Communists come out their hidings in the bushes and ran over the Street and overturn and burn Cars on their Way to the Palace the National Security leaded by Kabush and Ruben realize the Situation very quick and march on and attack the Revolutionarys and Fredo brings the Wire on the Top of the Building on the oppossite Site to the Palace
Meanwhile in the House Conchita still tries to talk her Mother in to the Diamond Coulier but shes still blocking up
Conchita: "Mum Please it will kill nobody"
Beatrice: "I will kill you ive you didn't stop to ask me about that"
while Felipe and Ramon begins to play Star Trek Felipe is Captain Picard and Ramon is the Borg Queen who tries to talk Picard in to get a Borg
Ramon: "You don't know what Pleasure it is to be a Part of the Collective to know everything and share everything with the other Members of the Collective
Felipe: "Im fine of my own a always stay an Indiviuum"
while the Baby crouches through the Canalization for the Hunt on Rats the rush fast over all the time and thinks the Baby can tag they but they did'nt know the Baby meanwhile the Riot on the Streets raise his Peak anywhere theres be Shootouts and Fistfights the Rebels loot and burn everything and the National Security try to kill much of them as possible and shoot into the Crowd with Water Cannons full of Deadly Poison and Fredo makes him ready to jump while the President sleeps in his Rocking Chair on the Balustrade
Meanwhile Beatrice is at Work and holds a Man on a Dog Leash while he must walk over Peaked Barbs Conchita stands beside her and still try to talk her in a diamond coulier
Conchita: "Mum everyone in my Class have one why not i?"
Beatrice: "Everybody in your Class is Slut"
Conchita: "Thats not true"
Beatrice: "Be Honest Conchita"
Conchita: "Ok is it so but i don't have need to be a slut ive you buy me one"
the Man at the Leash says "Buy her the goddamn Coulier"
Meanwhile Ramon still try to talk Felipe in to get a Borg by himself but he blocked and holds the same dramatic Speech Picard holds in Star Trek
Meanwhile the Baby caught his first Rat with a Trap, eat it permanently and screams "I get all of you" and the Rats are not so self-confidently anymore and ran now with Panic
Meanwhile Fredo sets off to Jump all is working fine in a few secons he is the new Dictator but just in the Moment he arrives at the Balustrade the Dictator is waking up and ducks him for a Penny and Fredo crash into the Wall and loose all his teeth meanwhile the National Security gains the Control with the Help of German Panzers and the Communists who doesen't stomp by the Panzers ran away and hiding again in the Bushes once more the Day is Saved and the Power is in the Right Hands and the Dictator decides that his Work is done and its Time to get Home to his Family
Meanwhile in the House Conchita tells her Mother that she allready have a Diamond Coulier
Conchita: "You don't have need to buy me a Diamond Coulier anymore i found a Boy who spend it to me"
Beatrice says "Oh thats beautiful" but she thinks "Another Bastard i must torture"
meanwhile Ramon get it to talk Felipe into a Borg and so they walk es Borgs thru the House and the Women both gives the Bird on them in this Moment the Dictator comes home and also see them two Nerds who wairing the Borg Outfits Felipe greets him
Felipe: "Hey Dad how do you like our Costumes"
Ernesto: "Beautiful Costumes"
Ernesto kisses his wife aks her about her Tortures
Ernesto: "How was torturing today"
She whispers something in his Ear and they both go upstairs together
In the Last Scene the Audience sees the Baby who trones on thousands of killed rats and laughs like an Psychopath "I said i get all of you little Bastards"
The Dictator's worst Enemy plans a Strike against him like he's every day doin to dump him from his Throne and take his Place his Name is Fredo Rizitelli he wears a Cape and a Eyemask and is the Leader of the Revolutionary Communist Liberation Front who is much worser than the Actual Regime today he have a new Plan to dump the Dictator from his Throne and get Dictator instead of him he explain his Plan to his dumb but loyal Helpers Sergio and Roberto Sergio is a slender Guy wearing a Red and White Striped Shirt a Red Bandana and a Eye Patch Roberto is a fat Guy with a Brown-Green Striped Shirt a Green Bandana and also a Eyepatch
Fredo Rizzitelli: "You lead the Rebels to cause some trouble on the Streets where the Rebels are in Fight with the National Security to attract their look away from their Leader so that I can jump with a Wire on Ernestos Balustrade and chop his Head off and claim the Throne that i want for myself for so much Years an finally can be the Dictator of this wonderful Country"
Roberto: "Oh this Plan is magnificent"
Sergio: "Yeah thats a good Plan"
and they all laugh evil
Meanwhile in the Salagars House Conchita try to talk her Mother in to buy her a Diamond Coulier
Conchita: "Please Mum buy me that Diamond Coulier Dad can afford it easily damn he's the Dictator he can get everything"
Beatrice: "The Thing is have you earn this?
Conchita: "I do everything for that"
Beatrice: "What you doin for this?"
Conchita: "I clean my Room"
Beatrice: "And that is a Favour to us?"
and walks into the Kitchen wheres Conchita follows her
Conchita: "Mum please"
Meanwhile the Phone rings and Felipe hang up
Felipe "Salagar Residence Felipe on Line
and Esmeralda is on the Line
Esmeralda: "Hey Felipe my cute Darling who are you"
Felipe: "Hey my beloved Esmeralda im that enthuiastic for your Visit this Weekend"
Esmeralda. "Hey Felipe thats what im talk about with you i can't visit you this Weekend"
Felipe: "Why?"
Esmeralda: "Me and my Family visit our Relatives in San Homunda this Weekend im sorry maybe i show up for a Visit by you next Weekend"
Felipe: "Oh"
Esmeralda: "Are you ok with that?"
Felipe: "Yes im Fine"
so he calls his Friend Ramon
Felipe: "Hey Ramon wanna play some Star Trek Role Play on the Weekend with me"
Ramon: "O Yeah that would be great My Mum is driving me to you in a few Minutes"
The Baby sits on his Chair and notice some Rat who rans thru the House right to Bathroom and jumps in the Toilet the Baby take the Chase and jumps in into the Toilet and flushs down and scream "Over again"
Meanwhile the Riot on the Streets begin the Communists come out their hidings in the bushes and ran over the Street and overturn and burn Cars on their Way to the Palace the National Security leaded by Kabush and Ruben realize the Situation very quick and march on and attack the Revolutionarys and Fredo brings the Wire on the Top of the Building on the oppossite Site to the Palace
Meanwhile in the House Conchita still tries to talk her Mother in to the Diamond Coulier but shes still blocking up
Conchita: "Mum Please it will kill nobody"
Beatrice: "I will kill you ive you didn't stop to ask me about that"
while Felipe and Ramon begins to play Star Trek Felipe is Captain Picard and Ramon is the Borg Queen who tries to talk Picard in to get a Borg
Ramon: "You don't know what Pleasure it is to be a Part of the Collective to know everything and share everything with the other Members of the Collective
Felipe: "Im fine of my own a always stay an Indiviuum"
while the Baby crouches through the Canalization for the Hunt on Rats the rush fast over all the time and thinks the Baby can tag they but they did'nt know the Baby meanwhile the Riot on the Streets raise his Peak anywhere theres be Shootouts and Fistfights the Rebels loot and burn everything and the National Security try to kill much of them as possible and shoot into the Crowd with Water Cannons full of Deadly Poison and Fredo makes him ready to jump while the President sleeps in his Rocking Chair on the Balustrade
Meanwhile Beatrice is at Work and holds a Man on a Dog Leash while he must walk over Peaked Barbs Conchita stands beside her and still try to talk her in a diamond coulier
Conchita: "Mum everyone in my Class have one why not i?"
Beatrice: "Everybody in your Class is Slut"
Conchita: "Thats not true"
Beatrice: "Be Honest Conchita"
Conchita: "Ok is it so but i don't have need to be a slut ive you buy me one"
the Man at the Leash says "Buy her the goddamn Coulier"
Meanwhile Ramon still try to talk Felipe in to get a Borg by himself but he blocked and holds the same dramatic Speech Picard holds in Star Trek
Meanwhile the Baby caught his first Rat with a Trap, eat it permanently and screams "I get all of you" and the Rats are not so self-confidently anymore and ran now with Panic
Meanwhile Fredo sets off to Jump all is working fine in a few secons he is the new Dictator but just in the Moment he arrives at the Balustrade the Dictator is waking up and ducks him for a Penny and Fredo crash into the Wall and loose all his teeth meanwhile the National Security gains the Control with the Help of German Panzers and the Communists who doesen't stomp by the Panzers ran away and hiding again in the Bushes once more the Day is Saved and the Power is in the Right Hands and the Dictator decides that his Work is done and its Time to get Home to his Family
Meanwhile in the House Conchita tells her Mother that she allready have a Diamond Coulier
Conchita: "You don't have need to buy me a Diamond Coulier anymore i found a Boy who spend it to me"
Beatrice says "Oh thats beautiful" but she thinks "Another Bastard i must torture"
meanwhile Ramon get it to talk Felipe into a Borg and so they walk es Borgs thru the House and the Women both gives the Bird on them in this Moment the Dictator comes home and also see them two Nerds who wairing the Borg Outfits Felipe greets him
Felipe: "Hey Dad how do you like our Costumes"
Ernesto: "Beautiful Costumes"
Ernesto kisses his wife aks her about her Tortures
Ernesto: "How was torturing today"
She whispers something in his Ear and they both go upstairs together
In the Last Scene the Audience sees the Baby who trones on thousands of killed rats and laughs like an Psychopath "I said i get all of you little Bastards"
Montag, Juli 20, 2009
Tropical Fever Episode 1
Main Characters:
John Paul Tremblay as Ernesto Salagar
Portia de Rossi as Beatrice Salagar
Paulo Costanzo as Felipe Salagar
Kaylee DeFer as Conchita Salagar
Minor Characters:
John Turturro as Fredo Rizitelli
Michael Fishman as Ramon
Sara Gilbert as Denica
Larry Thomas as Kabush
Vincent Pastore as Ruben
Danielle Harris as Esmeralda
FADE IN:
INT. THE SPEECH - DAY
In a Fictive Latin American Tropical Paradise who is under
Control of an Evil Facist Dictator plays this new Series:
The Evil Dictator Ernesto Salagar who wears a Miliary
Uniform like Fidel Castro holds a Speak on the Balustrade of
his Majestic Palace in Front of Thousands and Thousands of
his loyal (loyal means feard of his power and evilness)
Admirers who stand on the big Salagar Place before it
ERNESTO
Dear my abject servants ive been
glad that your my grass routs
where my wealth is built on, you
give your Sweat and Blood to build
a Mighty Empire you fight for me
and this Empire till death and
beyond of this and you prove this
in varios bloody Battles one day
this honour will be granted wenn
you all walk in the hall of
miracles where all your Dreams get
true and you all will be swimming
in Lakes of Milk and Honey with a
sweet black haired Fivitivian Girl
on each Side a Glass of
Fictivian's finest Rum and a big
one of Fictivian's finest Cigars
in the other Hand
they shout of Happyness and scream "Long live El Presidente"
and the Dictators leaving the balustrade satisfied with a
smile on His Face walking trough the Palace where overall
are Pictures of the Dictator, Pictures of Former Dictators,
Knight's Armors, Antique Greek Statues and stuffed Bears,
Lions, Tigers, Leopards, Pumas, Zebras, Bisons, Gnus and
Antilopes and even a Elephant with his real Ivory Teeth to
his Limousine, at his left Side walks his Secretarian Kabush
a stylish Oriental Man wearing a Black Armani Suit and on
his Right Side his Right Hand Ruben a bully Man who wears
also a Black Armani Suit and Black Sunglasses his
Secretarian Kabush congratulates him
KABUSH
It was a great Speech my Lord,
like written by a God handed to
the Mouth of a God-Like Leader my
eyes tear of Joy it was your best
Speech ever isn't so Ruben?
RUBEN
Yes a Great Speech from a Great
Leader ive didn't wonder ive you
became the Nobel Prize for Peace
for that
INT. THE WAY HOME - DAY
They get into the Limousine, the Dictator goes in the Behind
drink some Rum smoke a Cigar and fall asleep while the Car
begins movin and drive on the Big Four-Lane Salagar
Boulevard who is built direcetly on the Beach and is Flanked
with Palms and lot of Casinos, Hotels, Cocktail Bars and
Taco Stands on the Sides, on the Beach are lot of Sexy Latin
Girls who play Beachvolleyball the Audience sees how a Man
get schlept in a Side Street between Two Cocktail Bars from
Gouverment Troops and get Shot in the Head
His Secretary who is also his Driver looks behind and notice
that the Dictator sleeps and put his Hand on Rubens Leg
because they are a couple but the Dictator never should knew
it
Finally they arrive at the Salagar's House a big majestic
Ville with Gargoyle Statues on the Front with a big Pool and
a big Garden like a Jungle the Dictator wakes up from his
alcohol influecend Sleep
ERNESTO
Oh im at Home allready i wish you
a nice Weekend my inconsiderable
Abjects oh i wish i can get on the
Bunny Hunt on this hot Friday
Night like you young Fellas i wish
im 25 again and not married
KABUSH
But you have a beautiful Wife
Presidente
ERNESTO
That's a good Point im go in to my
Wife and Kids now and don't border
you anymore from grab some Chicks
have much Fun
KABUSH
Of course we have some Fun tonight
right Ruben
RUBEN
Oh Yeah that we have surly
The Dictator stands up leave the Car, walk trough the Drive,
kicks the Cat away and get into his House
INT. THE TORTURING - DAY
Meanwhile the Dictators Wife Beatrice a sexy blonde Woman
who wears a Military Outfit like Isla the She-Wolf of the SS
who is the Nations Chief Tourturer and also the best Torture
worldwide hits a Communist Revolutionary a muscolous young
Man in his 20's with black Hairs and a three-day-growth
Beard his Shirt is open and his sweating heavy with a Whip
to get the Information where the Rebel's Headquater is
BEATRICE
Tell me where the Rebel's
Headquater is you disgusting Wimp
i promise you it let you lose and
you can go home when you confess
she hits him hard with her Whip
REVOLUTIONARY
I tell you nothing i am a noble
Man
BEATRICE
You as noble as a moldy Grub you
better confess when you hang on
your Life
and hit him hard with her Whip again
REVOLUTIONARY
How can i know that i can trust
you?
BEATRICE
I'm always holding my Word that i
give to People
and shes hitting that hard that he confess all under big
tears
REVOLUTIONARY
I confess everything but please
stop
BEATRICE
So tell me what you knew
she is whipin him hard
REVOLUTIONARY
The Rebel's Headquater is in
Sorona
BEATRICE
And who is the Leader of this
Section
and whip him hard again
REVOLUTIONARY
Cristobal
so her Work is done and she order his Exucution
BEATRICE
Decontaminate this Wimp
he screams
REVOLUTIONARY
No i done what you want i thought
you always stand by your Word
BEATRICE
I stand to my Word but just for
People that i like you are a
stinking Piece of Shit
Her Backers take him and throw him in a Big Pot of Salt Acid
and she leaving the Torture Prison satisfied
INT. BEATRICE PICK UP THE BABY - DAY
Beatrice get in her White Family Van and driving at the
Salagar Boulevard to the Kindergarten picking up her Baby
the famous Baby Sinclair as she arrive at the Kindergarten
the Kindergarten Maid is running and screaming full of Panic
to the Car
KINDERGARTEN MAID
Finally you arrive we can stand
him any Minute longer please take
him with you
BEATRICE
What done this little Rascal again
KINDERGARTEN MAID
Done? There isn't anything he
didn't done we much glad that we
have a Kindergarten own Fire
Department and most of our Kids
are save behind Bars and immunized
for the Pox and Cholera
we can't allow to lose
more Kids there is too much Claims
right now
BEATRICE
Allright bring him to me
KINDERGARTEN MAID
Im sorry to refuse but im hanging
to much on my Life
BEATRICE
Allright i get em
Beatrice walking in the Kindergarten to bring him out as she
arrived inside there sitting the Baby with Blood on his
Mouth on the Corpse of a little Boy smiling to his Mother
BABY
Hello Mum
BEATRICE
Hello my sweet little Baby do you
got a nice Day
BABY
It was okay
BEATRICE
Do you had much Fun with the other
Kids
BABY
it was all in all a funny Day
BEATRICE
Im always glad when my little Baby
had a nice Day
BABY
do we drive to the Burger King at
the Way Home
BEATRICE
Everything for my cute little
Treasure
and so they drive to the Burger King Drive Inn where the
Clerk first think that was regular Customers
CLERK
Hello and Welcome to Burger King
your Order please
but then he see who that Customer is
CLERK
Oh its you blessed are the
President's Family
and a lot of Clerks bring them hundreds of Burgers, Fries
and Drinks
INT. IN SCHOOL - DAY
The Salagars also have Teenage Kids both of them go to
School Felipe he is 18 and a Geek who likes Star Trek, Lord
of the Rings and World of Warcraft and constanly goes into
Slapstick Situations and have Bad Luck with Girls but this
time he got chances by the sweet Esmeralda a beautiful Girl
with Long Black Hair and Soft Brown Skin he sits behind her
in the Class and always starring on her and dream of Love
and a Sexual Relationship with her when the Lesson is over
he grab her books for her and carry them to her locker while
she is walking graceful besides him but on the Way all Books
fall down and he must pick them up she is laughin and he
abolish them as they reached the Locker she throws not on
purpuse the Door on his Face and he is falling down she is
shocked help him up and apologize to him
ESMERALDA
Oh what i have done im so sorry
but i sweet up your Day for that
and go to Dinner with you
He is so overwhelmed that he only can say
FELIPE
I I I I I I I
She press her Finger against his Lips
ESMERALDA
Be Quit
and kiss him on his Lips and leaves smiling the Scene
ESMERALDA
My Class goes on
He smiles for a while than hes notice that shes left her
Pencil and ran after her
FELIPE
Wait your Pencil
and fall over his on Trouser who burst Esmeralda laughs and
turn back again even like the School Rowdies (The Soccer
Team) their Leader Esteban spots
ESTEBAN
Man this poor Devil would be
fucked ive he's not the Dictators
Son
After that Felipe's Buddy Ramon comes to him and admire him
RAMON
Wow not just that Esmeralda who is
defintly the hottest Girl in
School is talking to you she asked
you out for a Date man you the
luckiest Guy i now
FELIPE
I know i can't imagine it either
RAMON
Man i hope i get some hot Chick
like her one Day
FELIPE
(lying)
Im sure you do someday
RAMON
Do you going to the World of
Warcraft Dark Moon Annual Fair
next Weekend
FELIPE
Sure it where a Blame i would miss
that
RAMON
Great my Mum is driving us
Meanwhile his 16 Years Old Sister Conchita leaves the Art
Class Room with their new Drawings a Boat on the See and a
House on a Hill she thinks she is a Art Genius and their Yes
Sayers a lot of Hot and Wannabe Hot Girls Cheerleaders in
their Uniforms she is also the Cheerleader Queen and wear
such Outfit she aks the Girls ive they like their Pictures
and they pretend that they like them but in Fact their more
than lousy their truly spoken Awful but they admire her
because of her hotness and of the Fact the she is the
Daughter of the Dictator
CONCHITA
It is good Pictures?
YES SAYERS
(lying)
It is good Pictures! The best we
ever saw
Felipe and Conchita both get into the same Bus but Conchita
depends that shes doesen't know her brother because she
thinks that her Reputation suffers on this Situation but
everyone knows that they are Brother and Sister because they
the Dictator's Childs and everybody is feared of him and
this not without a Reason so they respect and admire them
INT. AT HOME - DAY
As they reached their Suburban Home the Mother allready is
cooking Meatloaf and Sweet Potato Mash and the whole Family
sits together on the wooden Table and waiting for their
Lunch except for the Baby who plays Poker with some
Desperados One has Long Hairs and a Mustache wearing a
Mexican Hat a a Green Poncho Brown Jacket brown Pants a
Ammunition Belt and a Gun, one has Long Hairs a Mustache
wearing a Mexican Hat on his Back a Black Leather Jacket
black Pants and 2 Guns, one is fat wearing a Mustache, a
Brown Poncho, a Mexican Hat a Ammunition Belt a Blue Jacket,
Brown Pants and a Gun and one is wearing a Mexican Hat, a
white Jacket, white Pants and a Gun and shouts at his Mother
who's Love is only set to him during she is extremly
sadistic to everyone else except her Family and mostly she
loves the Baby she threatend him like a King
BABY
Mum move your cute little Ass away
from the Herd and drive to the
7/11 and buy us some Beer, Rum,
Cigars, Burgers and Chips
BEATRICE
Allright my Little Treasure all
that you want directly after the
Meal i buy your Stuff
BABY
I said Now
BEATRICE
Ok my little Darling i drive to
the 7/11 directly Felipe watch the
Meatloaf please when i was away
FELIPE
Allright Mum I'm always like to
help in the Household
Beatrice take her Keys and step into the Car and drives to
the 7/11
Meanwhile Conchita shoes her Dad her Drawings and ask him
ive he likes it
CONCHITA
Do you like my Paintings Dad
ERNESTO
Oh ya beautiful Paintings
and looks surreptitious than his Boy shows him his hand made
Model of the Enterprise NCC 1701-D and asks him how he likes
it
FELIPE
How do you like my Spaceship Dad
ERNESTO
O ya beautiful Spacehip
and looks surreptitous again than Conchita goes upstairs to
her room to do some more paintings and singing loud and
grisly to the Sound of Madonna's La Isla Bonita who comes
from her Ipod
CONCHITA
Tropical the island breeze
All of nature wild and free
This is where I long to be
La isla bonita...
Felipe takes the Chance and asks his Dad about a Thing he
thinks about
FELIPE
Dad you always when i have a
Problem i can come to you
ERNESTO
As long it didn't have anything to
do with Star Trek
FELIPE
No nothing with Star Trek
ERNESTO
Than Move On
FELIPE
Dad thats that cute Girl who goes
out for Dinner with me
ERNESTO
Hell Yeah i know you got less a
little bit of Me inside you
FELIPE
But i didn't know how to lay her
can you help me with that Dad who
you lay Mum?
ERNESTO
Well Son that was back in the late
70's where Alfonso Gonzalez was
the Dictator
FELIPE
Isn't that our dead Grandfather
ERNESTO
Yeah Right Son that was your
Grandfather, your Mum was a sweet
little Lady but her Dad want let
her lose so i must get rid of him
and so i cut his throat and let
him bleed out so i get your mums
love and as a nice outgrowth i
went Dictator up this Moment
FELIPE
But her Dad is a nice liberal
Piano Player thers no Reason for
killing him and i don't think that
shes liked ive i kill him
ERNESTO
Well i think you right Son that
was other Times maybe it depends
some other Solution in this Case
how a about a nice gift for her?
Thats always good
FELIPE
Thats a brilliant Idea Dad but
what Kind of Gift?
ERNESTO
How about some Cangaroo Balls
FELIPE
What Cangaroo Balls why that? I
can't imagine it that this is a
good Present
ERNESTO
Because Women love Things like
that it represent Raw Man Power
believe me Son i know what i
talking about
In this Moment the one long-Haired Desperados at the Poker
Table screams "Beguiler" and shots the other long-Haired
Desperado in the Face who fall dead from his Chair Ernesto
and Felipe looks shortly up but fastly their in their
talking again
ERNESTO
So Son do this and this will be
the happiest Evening of your short
Life
FELIPE
Dad your a real Love Guru what's
with the Idead that you join uns
and hide in the bushes and give me
advices
ERNESTO
I love to do that my Son that
reminds me of my Teenage
FELIPE
You often hides in bushes to give
love Advices when you were young
ERNESTO
I do that all the time
FELIPE
You borrow me your Ferrari
Testarossa right?
ERNESTO
Of sure i do nothing attract a
Woman more than a Ferrari
Testarossa
Meanwhile Beatrice arrives at Home and Hand the Stuff to the
Poker Table where they are much enjoin this and the Fat
Desperado hit her on her Butt she turn back press him with
his Chair against the Wall holding her Whip on his Neck and
says
BEATRICE
Watch out your Hands youve lucky
that you are a Companero of my
sweet little Baby unless i would
kill you unhesitatingly
then she sit down on the Couch and try to relax and watch a
little bit TV but her daughter comes up to her and ask for
their Advice in Love Things
CONCHITA
Mum you been a Slut once can you
help me with my Love Affairs
BEATRICE
Ok get on
CONCHITA
There is that cute Boy in School
Alessandro and he says that he
loves me and would do everything
BEATRICE
Truly Everything?
CONCHITA
Yes he said that he also said that
he would kill somebody for me
isn't that sweet
BEATRICE
(distrustful)
O yeah very sweet
CONCHITA
So do you think i should go with
him
BEATRICE
(dissembling)
Do what ever your Heart is telling
you
CONCHITA
Thanks Mum
Beatrice said that but in her Head she had allready a Plan
to fix the Situation in the Next Moment the Baby screams
BABY
You forgotten the Tequilla
BEATRICE
No Worry Baby i get up, drive to
the 7/11 again and buy them for
you
INT. THE TORTURE OF ALESSANDRO - DAY
She gets into her Car again and drives to the Liqour Store
where some Boys stand in the Front she aks them
BEATRICE
Is one of you Alessandro
A Big and Slim Guy with Curls wearing a Tight Black Shirt
and a Blue Jeans responds
ALESSANDRO
I am Alessandro
BEATRICE
Get In Alessandro i have to talk
with you
he get in and she drive on and drives with him to the
Torture Prison over what he is confused and asks her
ALESSANDRO
What we doing here?
BEATRICE
We have just a little Talk
The Gatekeeper let them in and they walk to the Torture
Building
As they arrive inside she give the Commando to her Helpers
to pack him they bound him on a Chair and she is
elektroshocking him and warn him
BEATRICE
I tell you this Don't think even
far to Kill my Husband, Stay away
as far as you can from Conchita
and leave the Town permanently or
we will meet us here again do you
understand
He acclaim unter Tears
ALESSANDRO
Im doing everything of that when
you let me stay alive
BEATRICE
Ok that's all i wanna hear
Beatrice lose him from his Bounding and go with him to her
Car and drive him home then she drive to the 7/11 again buy
the Tequila and drive home to give to the Baby
INT. AT HOME AGAIN - DAY
Beatrice arrive at home and Handle the Tequila to the Baby
BEATRICE
Here is your Tequila Baby
BABY
That will be in Time scratch along
come on Muchachos we drink another
Glas of fine Tequilla and then i
rip of your Pants Mum pour us all
in
Beatrice pour them big Glass full of Tequilla and they all
take them and they all pump them down and continue their
Game while Beatrice fall and the Couch, turn on the TV and
can finally relax
INT. FELIPE'S DATE - NIGHT
Meanwhile its evening and Felipe goes on his Date with
Esmeralda he picking her up with the Ferrari Testarossa at
the beatiful Ville of their Parents She is even prettier
than in school she is wearing a sharp black dress her Hair
is shiny and glazed they go to in Ferrari Testarossa he
bought from his Daddy and drive to a fine french restaurant
In the Restaurant he reversed a exclusive Table under the
Moonlight where the Waiter is sitting them
FELIPE
Hello i reserved the Moonshine
Table for Salagar
WAITER
Oh thats a nice Table i will sit
you
Esmeralda who is looking very good in the Moonlight is very
glad and thanks Felipe for the Innovation
ESMERALDA
Thanks for the Innovation thats a
wonderful Table in a wonderful
Restaurant
FELIPE
The best Table in the best
Restaurant in the whole City for
the prettiest Woman in the whole
City you looking wonderful in the
Moonlight
ESMERALDA
Oh you are a Chameur
WAITER
Do you ready to Order yet
FELIPE
Yes we take Oysters as Starter
Lobster for the Main Dish and to
trink Champange
WAITER
Oh a rich Boy i awaiting happily
your generous Tip
FELIPE
You can count on it
After short Time the Waiter comes with their Order
WAITER
Here our best Oysters, Lobster and
Champange for the generous Rich
Boy
FELIPE
Thank you you didn't do that
without Gratification
The enjoy their Lobster and Oysters under the beautiful
Moonlight and drinking Champange and how is agreed his
Father hiding in the Bush Everything is perfect she smiles
and he found its the right Time to hand her the Present
FELIPE
I have a Surprise for you
ESMERALDA
O Yeah I like Surprise Gifts
So he give her the Kangaroo Balls shes looking confused
ESMERALDA
Whats this?
FELIPE
Kangaroo Balls i thought you like
it
ESMERALDA
How can you think that i like
something like that
ERNESTO
(whispers)
Say because you are a Slut
and this Idiot don't think and say this truly
FELIPE
Because you are a Slut
ESMERALDA
I thought you love me
ERNESTO
(whispers)
Say i dont love you i only wanna
fuck with you Bitch
and this idiot responds again say out loud his evil father
whispers to him
FELIPE
I don't love you i only wanna fuck
with you Bitch
ESMERALDA
I excepted more of you
and ran crying away now the Boy realizes what he's done and
confront his Father
FELIPE
Dad why you let me say such things
ERNESTO
Because you wanna get laid with
her in my Teenage Time that work
all the Time
FELIPE
Dad first time ive it really
worked alltime
ERNESTO
Well sometimes
FELIPE
Dad be honest
ERNESTO
Allright it never worked but i
think this time it was different
FELIPE
And Dad i wann get only laid with
this Girl i love her and she loved
me but i now she hates me and its
all your fault
ERNESTO
Allright Son i get her back for
you
FELIPE
I wish you could that
ERNESTO
I could that i have a Secret
Weapon lets go to the Basement and
get the old violine Ruben play on
her and you sing a Song for her
that Kabush wrote
They goes to Kabush's and Ruben's Bachelor Apparment Ernesto
knocks on their Door
ERNESTO
Hey Ruben Kabush I know that you
have Girls inside im sorry that I
disturb your Love Affairs but open
up we need your Help
He never will realize that they have a Love Affair with
themself they are in Sex at this Moment but they are that
loyal and abjected that they stop with that and go the Door
ERNESTO
Im glad to see you Boys where are
you Hot Love Affairs
The Dictator take a short Look inside but Ruben close the
Door
ERNESTO
Ah you don't want that your Girls
see your Boss i understand that
but I have more important Things
to do anyway my Son love this Girl
and i blew it and we
need you to fix it Kabush write a
Love Song and Ruben you play the
Violine
KABUSH
Of course we do everything for you
my Führer
and so wrote Kabush the Song in a few Minutes and they go
all to Conchitas Window where Felipe starts singing under
her Window while Ruben is playing the Violine
FELIPE
Oh Esmeralda your the Sun of my
Heart your the Cream on my Soda
and the Choclate Topping on my Ice
i did'nt mean the Words i say its
my Fathers Words not
mine i please you to forgive all
my Sins and be my little Angel on
this beautiful Night
ESMERALDA
Yes my brave Boy i wanna be your
Girl
and so their fall in love but Felipe falls also over some
Tricycle and Esmeralda laughs again
ESMERALDA
You so funny that's one of the
Reasons i love you that much come
climb the Ladder up to my Window
and come in my Room than we share
a little Bit of Love
Felipe try to climb down the Ladder but the whole Ladder
falls with him onside down but Ernesto, Kabush and Ruben
catch him up stand the Ladder up and hold it as Felipe climb
it again and this Time he make it and get into the Room to
have some Fun with the beautiful Esmeralda
ERNESTO
So our Work is done you can go
home now to your Girlfriends and i
go home to my beautiful Wife and
sleep with her too so everybody is
happy today
KABUSH
Yes we will very happy too and
blink to Ruben
INT. EVERYTHING IS ALLRIGHT - NIGHT
Meanwhile at Home Conchita wonders
CONCHITA
Mum i tried to call Alessandro but
there was next tenant on the phone
and says his family moves to
Argentinia there is one time a boy
that i liked and than he
leaves me i am that awful?
BEATRICE
No your not you my little sweet
daugther and you will ever be and
someday the right man comes and
will marry you maybe a Prince
CONCHITA
Oh that where fantastic than i am
Princess Conchita the Rich and
Beautiful i look forward to this
Day
Meanwhile Ernesto arrive at Home and say to his Wife totally
enthusiastic
ERNESTO
Beatrice my Darling come on let's
go upstairs in the Bedroom and
have some dirty Sex like in the
Old Days
BEATRICE
Oh that's great im looking forward
for this since a long Time you
pick the right Time i just read a
lot in the Kamasutra
and so they go upstairs and have a little Fun
In the Last Scene the Poker Game ends and the Guy with the
Long Hairs, the Big Mustache and the Black Leatherjacket
wins and sream loud "Arriba" where the other Desperados
bangs their Cards hardly on the Table and leaves angry the
House and the Baby cries "No No No" and bangs his Had on the
Table
THE END
John Paul Tremblay as Ernesto Salagar
Portia de Rossi as Beatrice Salagar
Paulo Costanzo as Felipe Salagar
Kaylee DeFer as Conchita Salagar
Minor Characters:
John Turturro as Fredo Rizitelli
Michael Fishman as Ramon
Sara Gilbert as Denica
Larry Thomas as Kabush
Vincent Pastore as Ruben
Danielle Harris as Esmeralda
FADE IN:
INT. THE SPEECH - DAY
In a Fictive Latin American Tropical Paradise who is under
Control of an Evil Facist Dictator plays this new Series:
The Evil Dictator Ernesto Salagar who wears a Miliary
Uniform like Fidel Castro holds a Speak on the Balustrade of
his Majestic Palace in Front of Thousands and Thousands of
his loyal (loyal means feard of his power and evilness)
Admirers who stand on the big Salagar Place before it
ERNESTO
Dear my abject servants ive been
glad that your my grass routs
where my wealth is built on, you
give your Sweat and Blood to build
a Mighty Empire you fight for me
and this Empire till death and
beyond of this and you prove this
in varios bloody Battles one day
this honour will be granted wenn
you all walk in the hall of
miracles where all your Dreams get
true and you all will be swimming
in Lakes of Milk and Honey with a
sweet black haired Fivitivian Girl
on each Side a Glass of
Fictivian's finest Rum and a big
one of Fictivian's finest Cigars
in the other Hand
they shout of Happyness and scream "Long live El Presidente"
and the Dictators leaving the balustrade satisfied with a
smile on His Face walking trough the Palace where overall
are Pictures of the Dictator, Pictures of Former Dictators,
Knight's Armors, Antique Greek Statues and stuffed Bears,
Lions, Tigers, Leopards, Pumas, Zebras, Bisons, Gnus and
Antilopes and even a Elephant with his real Ivory Teeth to
his Limousine, at his left Side walks his Secretarian Kabush
a stylish Oriental Man wearing a Black Armani Suit and on
his Right Side his Right Hand Ruben a bully Man who wears
also a Black Armani Suit and Black Sunglasses his
Secretarian Kabush congratulates him
KABUSH
It was a great Speech my Lord,
like written by a God handed to
the Mouth of a God-Like Leader my
eyes tear of Joy it was your best
Speech ever isn't so Ruben?
RUBEN
Yes a Great Speech from a Great
Leader ive didn't wonder ive you
became the Nobel Prize for Peace
for that
INT. THE WAY HOME - DAY
They get into the Limousine, the Dictator goes in the Behind
drink some Rum smoke a Cigar and fall asleep while the Car
begins movin and drive on the Big Four-Lane Salagar
Boulevard who is built direcetly on the Beach and is Flanked
with Palms and lot of Casinos, Hotels, Cocktail Bars and
Taco Stands on the Sides, on the Beach are lot of Sexy Latin
Girls who play Beachvolleyball the Audience sees how a Man
get schlept in a Side Street between Two Cocktail Bars from
Gouverment Troops and get Shot in the Head
His Secretary who is also his Driver looks behind and notice
that the Dictator sleeps and put his Hand on Rubens Leg
because they are a couple but the Dictator never should knew
it
Finally they arrive at the Salagar's House a big majestic
Ville with Gargoyle Statues on the Front with a big Pool and
a big Garden like a Jungle the Dictator wakes up from his
alcohol influecend Sleep
ERNESTO
Oh im at Home allready i wish you
a nice Weekend my inconsiderable
Abjects oh i wish i can get on the
Bunny Hunt on this hot Friday
Night like you young Fellas i wish
im 25 again and not married
KABUSH
But you have a beautiful Wife
Presidente
ERNESTO
That's a good Point im go in to my
Wife and Kids now and don't border
you anymore from grab some Chicks
have much Fun
KABUSH
Of course we have some Fun tonight
right Ruben
RUBEN
Oh Yeah that we have surly
The Dictator stands up leave the Car, walk trough the Drive,
kicks the Cat away and get into his House
INT. THE TORTURING - DAY
Meanwhile the Dictators Wife Beatrice a sexy blonde Woman
who wears a Military Outfit like Isla the She-Wolf of the SS
who is the Nations Chief Tourturer and also the best Torture
worldwide hits a Communist Revolutionary a muscolous young
Man in his 20's with black Hairs and a three-day-growth
Beard his Shirt is open and his sweating heavy with a Whip
to get the Information where the Rebel's Headquater is
BEATRICE
Tell me where the Rebel's
Headquater is you disgusting Wimp
i promise you it let you lose and
you can go home when you confess
she hits him hard with her Whip
REVOLUTIONARY
I tell you nothing i am a noble
Man
BEATRICE
You as noble as a moldy Grub you
better confess when you hang on
your Life
and hit him hard with her Whip again
REVOLUTIONARY
How can i know that i can trust
you?
BEATRICE
I'm always holding my Word that i
give to People
and shes hitting that hard that he confess all under big
tears
REVOLUTIONARY
I confess everything but please
stop
BEATRICE
So tell me what you knew
she is whipin him hard
REVOLUTIONARY
The Rebel's Headquater is in
Sorona
BEATRICE
And who is the Leader of this
Section
and whip him hard again
REVOLUTIONARY
Cristobal
so her Work is done and she order his Exucution
BEATRICE
Decontaminate this Wimp
he screams
REVOLUTIONARY
No i done what you want i thought
you always stand by your Word
BEATRICE
I stand to my Word but just for
People that i like you are a
stinking Piece of Shit
Her Backers take him and throw him in a Big Pot of Salt Acid
and she leaving the Torture Prison satisfied
INT. BEATRICE PICK UP THE BABY - DAY
Beatrice get in her White Family Van and driving at the
Salagar Boulevard to the Kindergarten picking up her Baby
the famous Baby Sinclair as she arrive at the Kindergarten
the Kindergarten Maid is running and screaming full of Panic
to the Car
KINDERGARTEN MAID
Finally you arrive we can stand
him any Minute longer please take
him with you
BEATRICE
What done this little Rascal again
KINDERGARTEN MAID
Done? There isn't anything he
didn't done we much glad that we
have a Kindergarten own Fire
Department and most of our Kids
are save behind Bars and immunized
for the Pox and Cholera
we can't allow to lose
more Kids there is too much Claims
right now
BEATRICE
Allright bring him to me
KINDERGARTEN MAID
Im sorry to refuse but im hanging
to much on my Life
BEATRICE
Allright i get em
Beatrice walking in the Kindergarten to bring him out as she
arrived inside there sitting the Baby with Blood on his
Mouth on the Corpse of a little Boy smiling to his Mother
BABY
Hello Mum
BEATRICE
Hello my sweet little Baby do you
got a nice Day
BABY
It was okay
BEATRICE
Do you had much Fun with the other
Kids
BABY
it was all in all a funny Day
BEATRICE
Im always glad when my little Baby
had a nice Day
BABY
do we drive to the Burger King at
the Way Home
BEATRICE
Everything for my cute little
Treasure
and so they drive to the Burger King Drive Inn where the
Clerk first think that was regular Customers
CLERK
Hello and Welcome to Burger King
your Order please
but then he see who that Customer is
CLERK
Oh its you blessed are the
President's Family
and a lot of Clerks bring them hundreds of Burgers, Fries
and Drinks
INT. IN SCHOOL - DAY
The Salagars also have Teenage Kids both of them go to
School Felipe he is 18 and a Geek who likes Star Trek, Lord
of the Rings and World of Warcraft and constanly goes into
Slapstick Situations and have Bad Luck with Girls but this
time he got chances by the sweet Esmeralda a beautiful Girl
with Long Black Hair and Soft Brown Skin he sits behind her
in the Class and always starring on her and dream of Love
and a Sexual Relationship with her when the Lesson is over
he grab her books for her and carry them to her locker while
she is walking graceful besides him but on the Way all Books
fall down and he must pick them up she is laughin and he
abolish them as they reached the Locker she throws not on
purpuse the Door on his Face and he is falling down she is
shocked help him up and apologize to him
ESMERALDA
Oh what i have done im so sorry
but i sweet up your Day for that
and go to Dinner with you
He is so overwhelmed that he only can say
FELIPE
I I I I I I I
She press her Finger against his Lips
ESMERALDA
Be Quit
and kiss him on his Lips and leaves smiling the Scene
ESMERALDA
My Class goes on
He smiles for a while than hes notice that shes left her
Pencil and ran after her
FELIPE
Wait your Pencil
and fall over his on Trouser who burst Esmeralda laughs and
turn back again even like the School Rowdies (The Soccer
Team) their Leader Esteban spots
ESTEBAN
Man this poor Devil would be
fucked ive he's not the Dictators
Son
After that Felipe's Buddy Ramon comes to him and admire him
RAMON
Wow not just that Esmeralda who is
defintly the hottest Girl in
School is talking to you she asked
you out for a Date man you the
luckiest Guy i now
FELIPE
I know i can't imagine it either
RAMON
Man i hope i get some hot Chick
like her one Day
FELIPE
(lying)
Im sure you do someday
RAMON
Do you going to the World of
Warcraft Dark Moon Annual Fair
next Weekend
FELIPE
Sure it where a Blame i would miss
that
RAMON
Great my Mum is driving us
Meanwhile his 16 Years Old Sister Conchita leaves the Art
Class Room with their new Drawings a Boat on the See and a
House on a Hill she thinks she is a Art Genius and their Yes
Sayers a lot of Hot and Wannabe Hot Girls Cheerleaders in
their Uniforms she is also the Cheerleader Queen and wear
such Outfit she aks the Girls ive they like their Pictures
and they pretend that they like them but in Fact their more
than lousy their truly spoken Awful but they admire her
because of her hotness and of the Fact the she is the
Daughter of the Dictator
CONCHITA
It is good Pictures?
YES SAYERS
(lying)
It is good Pictures! The best we
ever saw
Felipe and Conchita both get into the same Bus but Conchita
depends that shes doesen't know her brother because she
thinks that her Reputation suffers on this Situation but
everyone knows that they are Brother and Sister because they
the Dictator's Childs and everybody is feared of him and
this not without a Reason so they respect and admire them
INT. AT HOME - DAY
As they reached their Suburban Home the Mother allready is
cooking Meatloaf and Sweet Potato Mash and the whole Family
sits together on the wooden Table and waiting for their
Lunch except for the Baby who plays Poker with some
Desperados One has Long Hairs and a Mustache wearing a
Mexican Hat a a Green Poncho Brown Jacket brown Pants a
Ammunition Belt and a Gun, one has Long Hairs a Mustache
wearing a Mexican Hat on his Back a Black Leather Jacket
black Pants and 2 Guns, one is fat wearing a Mustache, a
Brown Poncho, a Mexican Hat a Ammunition Belt a Blue Jacket,
Brown Pants and a Gun and one is wearing a Mexican Hat, a
white Jacket, white Pants and a Gun and shouts at his Mother
who's Love is only set to him during she is extremly
sadistic to everyone else except her Family and mostly she
loves the Baby she threatend him like a King
BABY
Mum move your cute little Ass away
from the Herd and drive to the
7/11 and buy us some Beer, Rum,
Cigars, Burgers and Chips
BEATRICE
Allright my Little Treasure all
that you want directly after the
Meal i buy your Stuff
BABY
I said Now
BEATRICE
Ok my little Darling i drive to
the 7/11 directly Felipe watch the
Meatloaf please when i was away
FELIPE
Allright Mum I'm always like to
help in the Household
Beatrice take her Keys and step into the Car and drives to
the 7/11
Meanwhile Conchita shoes her Dad her Drawings and ask him
ive he likes it
CONCHITA
Do you like my Paintings Dad
ERNESTO
Oh ya beautiful Paintings
and looks surreptitious than his Boy shows him his hand made
Model of the Enterprise NCC 1701-D and asks him how he likes
it
FELIPE
How do you like my Spaceship Dad
ERNESTO
O ya beautiful Spacehip
and looks surreptitous again than Conchita goes upstairs to
her room to do some more paintings and singing loud and
grisly to the Sound of Madonna's La Isla Bonita who comes
from her Ipod
CONCHITA
Tropical the island breeze
All of nature wild and free
This is where I long to be
La isla bonita...
Felipe takes the Chance and asks his Dad about a Thing he
thinks about
FELIPE
Dad you always when i have a
Problem i can come to you
ERNESTO
As long it didn't have anything to
do with Star Trek
FELIPE
No nothing with Star Trek
ERNESTO
Than Move On
FELIPE
Dad thats that cute Girl who goes
out for Dinner with me
ERNESTO
Hell Yeah i know you got less a
little bit of Me inside you
FELIPE
But i didn't know how to lay her
can you help me with that Dad who
you lay Mum?
ERNESTO
Well Son that was back in the late
70's where Alfonso Gonzalez was
the Dictator
FELIPE
Isn't that our dead Grandfather
ERNESTO
Yeah Right Son that was your
Grandfather, your Mum was a sweet
little Lady but her Dad want let
her lose so i must get rid of him
and so i cut his throat and let
him bleed out so i get your mums
love and as a nice outgrowth i
went Dictator up this Moment
FELIPE
But her Dad is a nice liberal
Piano Player thers no Reason for
killing him and i don't think that
shes liked ive i kill him
ERNESTO
Well i think you right Son that
was other Times maybe it depends
some other Solution in this Case
how a about a nice gift for her?
Thats always good
FELIPE
Thats a brilliant Idea Dad but
what Kind of Gift?
ERNESTO
How about some Cangaroo Balls
FELIPE
What Cangaroo Balls why that? I
can't imagine it that this is a
good Present
ERNESTO
Because Women love Things like
that it represent Raw Man Power
believe me Son i know what i
talking about
In this Moment the one long-Haired Desperados at the Poker
Table screams "Beguiler" and shots the other long-Haired
Desperado in the Face who fall dead from his Chair Ernesto
and Felipe looks shortly up but fastly their in their
talking again
ERNESTO
So Son do this and this will be
the happiest Evening of your short
Life
FELIPE
Dad your a real Love Guru what's
with the Idead that you join uns
and hide in the bushes and give me
advices
ERNESTO
I love to do that my Son that
reminds me of my Teenage
FELIPE
You often hides in bushes to give
love Advices when you were young
ERNESTO
I do that all the time
FELIPE
You borrow me your Ferrari
Testarossa right?
ERNESTO
Of sure i do nothing attract a
Woman more than a Ferrari
Testarossa
Meanwhile Beatrice arrives at Home and Hand the Stuff to the
Poker Table where they are much enjoin this and the Fat
Desperado hit her on her Butt she turn back press him with
his Chair against the Wall holding her Whip on his Neck and
says
BEATRICE
Watch out your Hands youve lucky
that you are a Companero of my
sweet little Baby unless i would
kill you unhesitatingly
then she sit down on the Couch and try to relax and watch a
little bit TV but her daughter comes up to her and ask for
their Advice in Love Things
CONCHITA
Mum you been a Slut once can you
help me with my Love Affairs
BEATRICE
Ok get on
CONCHITA
There is that cute Boy in School
Alessandro and he says that he
loves me and would do everything
BEATRICE
Truly Everything?
CONCHITA
Yes he said that he also said that
he would kill somebody for me
isn't that sweet
BEATRICE
(distrustful)
O yeah very sweet
CONCHITA
So do you think i should go with
him
BEATRICE
(dissembling)
Do what ever your Heart is telling
you
CONCHITA
Thanks Mum
Beatrice said that but in her Head she had allready a Plan
to fix the Situation in the Next Moment the Baby screams
BABY
You forgotten the Tequilla
BEATRICE
No Worry Baby i get up, drive to
the 7/11 again and buy them for
you
INT. THE TORTURE OF ALESSANDRO - DAY
She gets into her Car again and drives to the Liqour Store
where some Boys stand in the Front she aks them
BEATRICE
Is one of you Alessandro
A Big and Slim Guy with Curls wearing a Tight Black Shirt
and a Blue Jeans responds
ALESSANDRO
I am Alessandro
BEATRICE
Get In Alessandro i have to talk
with you
he get in and she drive on and drives with him to the
Torture Prison over what he is confused and asks her
ALESSANDRO
What we doing here?
BEATRICE
We have just a little Talk
The Gatekeeper let them in and they walk to the Torture
Building
As they arrive inside she give the Commando to her Helpers
to pack him they bound him on a Chair and she is
elektroshocking him and warn him
BEATRICE
I tell you this Don't think even
far to Kill my Husband, Stay away
as far as you can from Conchita
and leave the Town permanently or
we will meet us here again do you
understand
He acclaim unter Tears
ALESSANDRO
Im doing everything of that when
you let me stay alive
BEATRICE
Ok that's all i wanna hear
Beatrice lose him from his Bounding and go with him to her
Car and drive him home then she drive to the 7/11 again buy
the Tequila and drive home to give to the Baby
INT. AT HOME AGAIN - DAY
Beatrice arrive at home and Handle the Tequila to the Baby
BEATRICE
Here is your Tequila Baby
BABY
That will be in Time scratch along
come on Muchachos we drink another
Glas of fine Tequilla and then i
rip of your Pants Mum pour us all
in
Beatrice pour them big Glass full of Tequilla and they all
take them and they all pump them down and continue their
Game while Beatrice fall and the Couch, turn on the TV and
can finally relax
INT. FELIPE'S DATE - NIGHT
Meanwhile its evening and Felipe goes on his Date with
Esmeralda he picking her up with the Ferrari Testarossa at
the beatiful Ville of their Parents She is even prettier
than in school she is wearing a sharp black dress her Hair
is shiny and glazed they go to in Ferrari Testarossa he
bought from his Daddy and drive to a fine french restaurant
In the Restaurant he reversed a exclusive Table under the
Moonlight where the Waiter is sitting them
FELIPE
Hello i reserved the Moonshine
Table for Salagar
WAITER
Oh thats a nice Table i will sit
you
Esmeralda who is looking very good in the Moonlight is very
glad and thanks Felipe for the Innovation
ESMERALDA
Thanks for the Innovation thats a
wonderful Table in a wonderful
Restaurant
FELIPE
The best Table in the best
Restaurant in the whole City for
the prettiest Woman in the whole
City you looking wonderful in the
Moonlight
ESMERALDA
Oh you are a Chameur
WAITER
Do you ready to Order yet
FELIPE
Yes we take Oysters as Starter
Lobster for the Main Dish and to
trink Champange
WAITER
Oh a rich Boy i awaiting happily
your generous Tip
FELIPE
You can count on it
After short Time the Waiter comes with their Order
WAITER
Here our best Oysters, Lobster and
Champange for the generous Rich
Boy
FELIPE
Thank you you didn't do that
without Gratification
The enjoy their Lobster and Oysters under the beautiful
Moonlight and drinking Champange and how is agreed his
Father hiding in the Bush Everything is perfect she smiles
and he found its the right Time to hand her the Present
FELIPE
I have a Surprise for you
ESMERALDA
O Yeah I like Surprise Gifts
So he give her the Kangaroo Balls shes looking confused
ESMERALDA
Whats this?
FELIPE
Kangaroo Balls i thought you like
it
ESMERALDA
How can you think that i like
something like that
ERNESTO
(whispers)
Say because you are a Slut
and this Idiot don't think and say this truly
FELIPE
Because you are a Slut
ESMERALDA
I thought you love me
ERNESTO
(whispers)
Say i dont love you i only wanna
fuck with you Bitch
and this idiot responds again say out loud his evil father
whispers to him
FELIPE
I don't love you i only wanna fuck
with you Bitch
ESMERALDA
I excepted more of you
and ran crying away now the Boy realizes what he's done and
confront his Father
FELIPE
Dad why you let me say such things
ERNESTO
Because you wanna get laid with
her in my Teenage Time that work
all the Time
FELIPE
Dad first time ive it really
worked alltime
ERNESTO
Well sometimes
FELIPE
Dad be honest
ERNESTO
Allright it never worked but i
think this time it was different
FELIPE
And Dad i wann get only laid with
this Girl i love her and she loved
me but i now she hates me and its
all your fault
ERNESTO
Allright Son i get her back for
you
FELIPE
I wish you could that
ERNESTO
I could that i have a Secret
Weapon lets go to the Basement and
get the old violine Ruben play on
her and you sing a Song for her
that Kabush wrote
They goes to Kabush's and Ruben's Bachelor Apparment Ernesto
knocks on their Door
ERNESTO
Hey Ruben Kabush I know that you
have Girls inside im sorry that I
disturb your Love Affairs but open
up we need your Help
He never will realize that they have a Love Affair with
themself they are in Sex at this Moment but they are that
loyal and abjected that they stop with that and go the Door
ERNESTO
Im glad to see you Boys where are
you Hot Love Affairs
The Dictator take a short Look inside but Ruben close the
Door
ERNESTO
Ah you don't want that your Girls
see your Boss i understand that
but I have more important Things
to do anyway my Son love this Girl
and i blew it and we
need you to fix it Kabush write a
Love Song and Ruben you play the
Violine
KABUSH
Of course we do everything for you
my Führer
and so wrote Kabush the Song in a few Minutes and they go
all to Conchitas Window where Felipe starts singing under
her Window while Ruben is playing the Violine
FELIPE
Oh Esmeralda your the Sun of my
Heart your the Cream on my Soda
and the Choclate Topping on my Ice
i did'nt mean the Words i say its
my Fathers Words not
mine i please you to forgive all
my Sins and be my little Angel on
this beautiful Night
ESMERALDA
Yes my brave Boy i wanna be your
Girl
and so their fall in love but Felipe falls also over some
Tricycle and Esmeralda laughs again
ESMERALDA
You so funny that's one of the
Reasons i love you that much come
climb the Ladder up to my Window
and come in my Room than we share
a little Bit of Love
Felipe try to climb down the Ladder but the whole Ladder
falls with him onside down but Ernesto, Kabush and Ruben
catch him up stand the Ladder up and hold it as Felipe climb
it again and this Time he make it and get into the Room to
have some Fun with the beautiful Esmeralda
ERNESTO
So our Work is done you can go
home now to your Girlfriends and i
go home to my beautiful Wife and
sleep with her too so everybody is
happy today
KABUSH
Yes we will very happy too and
blink to Ruben
INT. EVERYTHING IS ALLRIGHT - NIGHT
Meanwhile at Home Conchita wonders
CONCHITA
Mum i tried to call Alessandro but
there was next tenant on the phone
and says his family moves to
Argentinia there is one time a boy
that i liked and than he
leaves me i am that awful?
BEATRICE
No your not you my little sweet
daugther and you will ever be and
someday the right man comes and
will marry you maybe a Prince
CONCHITA
Oh that where fantastic than i am
Princess Conchita the Rich and
Beautiful i look forward to this
Day
Meanwhile Ernesto arrive at Home and say to his Wife totally
enthusiastic
ERNESTO
Beatrice my Darling come on let's
go upstairs in the Bedroom and
have some dirty Sex like in the
Old Days
BEATRICE
Oh that's great im looking forward
for this since a long Time you
pick the right Time i just read a
lot in the Kamasutra
and so they go upstairs and have a little Fun
In the Last Scene the Poker Game ends and the Guy with the
Long Hairs, the Big Mustache and the Black Leatherjacket
wins and sream loud "Arriba" where the other Desperados
bangs their Cards hardly on the Table and leaves angry the
House and the Baby cries "No No No" and bangs his Had on the
Table
THE END
Abonnieren
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