Tropical Fever Episode 3

Episode 3: The Dictator gets a Turkey

The Dictator sits in his Office in the Chair and strechtes his feet over the Table, he drinks some Rum, smoke some Cigar and listen to Tropical Music its a beautiful sunny Day and Ruben & Kabush dancin with Hawaii Shirts On they look forward to a relaxin Weekend Its Thanksgiving Day and the Salagar's other Daughter Denica comes to visit them, she is pregnant again and again from an other Man and have their 4 Boys with her Antonio Esteban Rolando and Jimmy then Ernesto reminds that he got no Turkey yet and so he jumps up the Chair and run to his car and drive to the Supermarket and his hoping that they had one over meanwhile in the Salagards House

Beatrice and Conchita have a fight again about the Diamond Coulier who Conchita has become by the Nations Possibly Next Leader

Beatrice: "You give that Diamond Coulier back to that Boy"

Conchita: "No I don't will do that"

and than Felipe fight with his Mother about that he is invited to Esmeraldas House but his Father wants that he celebrate Thanksgiving with his Family

Felipe: "But Mum i love this Girl and i want to celebrate Thanksgiving with her and her Family"

Beatrice: "But your Father want that you stay at Home and celebrate Thanksgiving with us"

Felipe: "But i celbrate all Thanksgiving of the last 17 Years with the Family why i can't celebrate one Thanksgiving away from Home"

Beatrice: "Your Father want it so and it give no Discussion over that"

Felipe: "That's so unfair"

and the Baby notice that is no Turkey so he think when he can beat a Army of Rats he also can hunt some Turkey and so he put his Rifle and go for the Hunt

Then Denica arrives at Home with her Boys who jump over Felipe and beat him down while the Girls kiss each other and celebrate their Reunion

Denica: "Hey Girls i missed you so much"

Beatrice: "We too my beloved Daughter"

Conchita: "Hey my big Sister how are you"

Denica: "Im fine what about you"

Conchita: "Better than ever look what a sweet Boy give to me a beautiful Diamond Coulier

Conchita shows her Sister her new Diamond Coulier and Denica is allsay amazed

Denica: "You right thats really a beautiful Coulier and it comes likely from a nice sweet Boy"

what Beatrice brings into Rage

Beatrice: "Why you trowhing a Knife in to my Back"

Denica is laughing "What?"

meanwhile Ernesto arrives in the Supermarket and see's thats only one Turkey over and his worst Enemy Fredo Rizitelli is looking for the same Turkey they both ran to it they both grab it and the both don't wann get lose so they fight each other with their Fists and Their Feet until Death and after a long and brutal fight both scream

Fredo Rizzitelli: "Let it lose its my Turkey"

Ernesto. "Try to take it from my warm and hard Fists"

The Dictator wins again and get the Turkey while his Contrarent only get Beloni so the Day is saved again and the Dictator drives Home but Fredo don't give up and try to ram him from the Street but after a short race Ernesto brakes down and change the course and Fredo bang into a Staple of Burning Wheels so the Day is now saved again for Real

Meanwhile Beatrice talk into Conchita to give the Diamond Coulier back to the Boy and reject his Love but Denica streghtend her Sister to share the Love of the Boy

Beatrice: "You give it back to that Boy when you take it he thinks that you want to be his Wife"

Conchita: "Maybe i will be his Wife"

Beatrice: "You much too young"

Denica: "Mum im married when i was 16 too"

Beatrice: "Thats why you are a Slut and you were pregnant"

Denica: "Now im finally take Conchitas Side hold that Diamond Coulier and marry that Boy he loves you and you loves him

Felipe is sad because he don't can eat with his Flame Esmeralda Ramon is by him and asks Ramon about Denica

Ramon: "Do you thinks she likes me, i think she is very Hot"

Felipe: "Forget it"

Ramon: "I think i have a Chance"

Felipe: "In your Dreams"

Ramon: "You don't believe me Well i prove it"

he go downstairs to make some Sandwich and speak to Denica

Ramon: "Hi Denica"

Denica: "Hi Slimy Ballbag i heard everything and im disgustedly you can go back upstairs"

Felipe "She likes you ha?"

and the Baby is out in the Jungle to hunt some Turkey or other Big Pouldry and so he found a Pheasant and try to shoot him but he ran away and the Baby rans behind him this happens 4time again and the Baby gets angry and he try it with a Giant Trap he prepare it under a Tree and hide in the Bushes but the Pheaseant didn't show up the Baby wait and wait then he see the Pheasant in the Distant and run for it but the Pheaseant run in the Circle so the Baby get confused and just before he can look he is in the Trap by himself this make the Baby even angryer and so he try it with Dynamite he prepare the Dynamite near a Stone and hides in the Bushes again after a short Time the Pheasant show up the Baby pulls the Trigger but nothing happend so he go to the Dynamite and the Pheasant is run away and in this Moment the Dynamite explodes and throw the Baby Miles away and he scream "Again" after that they close a Ceasefire and get Friends and walk together to the Salagar's House

Meanwhile the Dictator is on his Way home and the Girls discutate about the Boy Thing and they finally come to an Solution they all can fit with Conchita gets the Coulier but reject the Boys Love

Denica: "I think i got the finally Solution how about you take the Diamond Coulier and reject the Boys Love

Beatrice: "That's fine for me"

Conchita: "For me too i never been really interessted in the Boy just in the Diamond Coulier"

Denica: "I got a Solution for Felipes Problem too how about Esmeralda come in our House and join our Thanksgiving Meal"

Felipe: "Thats a great Idea i call her"

and so he do

Felipe: "Allthough I can't go to your House how about you come to our House"

Esmeralda: "I go ask my Parents... That's fine for them they agree my Mother is driving me over in a few Minutes"

Felipe: "Great until then my beloved Sugarcat"

Esmerlada: "I love you too my strong Knight"

and soon she arrived for the first Time at the Salagars House Felipe kiss her

Felipe: "Hi Honey"

Esmeralda: "Hi Stevia" also the Dictator with the Turkey and the Baby with the Pheasant arrive but he is alive and eats the Turkey too because he and the Baby close a Ceasefire and get Friends so they share a amazing Thanksgiving Dinner together and after that they all Couples go to their Rooms Ernesto and Beatrice to the Parents Room and Felipe and Esmeralda to the Boys Room while the Girls, the Boys, the Baby and the Pheasant play a Game of Monopoly and have much Fun

Denica: "Lets play a Match of Monopoly together"

Conchita: "O yeah that will be much Fun"

Tropical Fever Episode 2

Episode 2: The Dictator has an Enemy

The Dictator's worst Enemy plans a Strike against him like he's every day doin to dump him from his Throne and take his Place his Name is Fredo Rizitelli he wears a Cape and a Eyemask and is the Leader of the Revolutionary Communist Liberation Front who is much worser than the Actual Regime today he have a new Plan to dump the Dictator from his Throne and get Dictator instead of him he explain his Plan to his dumb but loyal Helpers Sergio and Roberto Sergio is a slender Guy wearing a Red and White Striped Shirt a Red Bandana and a Eye Patch Roberto is a fat Guy with a Brown-Green Striped Shirt a Green Bandana and also a Eyepatch

Fredo Rizzitelli: "You lead the Rebels to cause some trouble on the Streets where the Rebels are in Fight with the National Security to attract their look away from their Leader so that I can jump with a Wire on Ernestos Balustrade and chop his Head off and claim the Throne that i want for myself for so much Years an finally can be the Dictator of this wonderful Country"

Roberto: "Oh this Plan is magnificent"

Sergio: "Yeah thats a good Plan"

and they all laugh evil

Meanwhile in the Salagars House Conchita try to talk her Mother in to buy her a Diamond Coulier

Conchita: "Please Mum buy me that Diamond Coulier Dad can afford it easily damn he's the Dictator he can get everything"

Beatrice: "The Thing is have you earn this?

Conchita: "I do everything for that"

Beatrice: "What you doin for this?"

Conchita: "I clean my Room"

Beatrice: "And that is a Favour to us?"

and walks into the Kitchen wheres Conchita follows her

Conchita: "Mum please"

Meanwhile the Phone rings and Felipe hang up

Felipe "Salagar Residence Felipe on Line

and Esmeralda is on the Line

Esmeralda: "Hey Felipe my cute Darling who are you"

Felipe: "Hey my beloved Esmeralda im that enthuiastic for your Visit this Weekend"

Esmeralda. "Hey Felipe thats what im talk about with you i can't visit you this Weekend"

Felipe: "Why?"

Esmeralda: "Me and my Family visit our Relatives in San Homunda this Weekend im sorry maybe i show up for a Visit by you next Weekend"

Felipe: "Oh"

Esmeralda: "Are you ok with that?"

Felipe: "Yes im Fine"

so he calls his Friend Ramon

Felipe: "Hey Ramon wanna play some Star Trek Role Play on the Weekend with me"

Ramon: "O Yeah that would be great My Mum is driving me to you in a few Minutes"

The Baby sits on his Chair and notice some Rat who rans thru the House right to Bathroom and jumps in the Toilet the Baby take the Chase and jumps in into the Toilet and flushs down and scream "Over again"

Meanwhile the Riot on the Streets begin the Communists come out their hidings in the bushes and ran over the Street and overturn and burn Cars on their Way to the Palace the National Security leaded by Kabush and Ruben realize the Situation very quick and march on and attack the Revolutionarys and Fredo brings the Wire on the Top of the Building on the oppossite Site to the Palace

Meanwhile in the House Conchita still tries to talk her Mother in to the Diamond Coulier but shes still blocking up

Conchita: "Mum Please it will kill nobody"

Beatrice: "I will kill you ive you didn't stop to ask me about that"

while Felipe and Ramon begins to play Star Trek Felipe is Captain Picard and Ramon is the Borg Queen who tries to talk Picard in to get a Borg

Ramon: "You don't know what Pleasure it is to be a Part of the Collective to know everything and share everything with the other Members of the Collective

Felipe: "Im fine of my own a always stay an Indiviuum"

while the Baby crouches through the Canalization for the Hunt on Rats the rush fast over all the time and thinks the Baby can tag they but they did'nt know the Baby meanwhile the Riot on the Streets raise his Peak anywhere theres be Shootouts and Fistfights the Rebels loot and burn everything and the National Security try to kill much of them as possible and shoot into the Crowd with Water Cannons full of Deadly Poison and Fredo makes him ready to jump while the President sleeps in his Rocking Chair on the Balustrade

Meanwhile Beatrice is at Work and holds a Man on a Dog Leash while he must walk over Peaked Barbs Conchita stands beside her and still try to talk her in a diamond coulier

Conchita: "Mum everyone in my Class have one why not i?"

Beatrice: "Everybody in your Class is Slut"

Conchita: "Thats not true"

Beatrice: "Be Honest Conchita"

Conchita: "Ok is it so but i don't have need to be a slut ive you buy me one"

the Man at the Leash says "Buy her the goddamn Coulier"

Meanwhile Ramon still try to talk Felipe in to get a Borg by himself but he blocked and holds the same dramatic Speech Picard holds in Star Trek

Meanwhile the Baby caught his first Rat with a Trap, eat it permanently and screams "I get all of you" and the Rats are not so self-confidently anymore and ran now with Panic

Meanwhile Fredo sets off to Jump all is working fine in a few secons he is the new Dictator but just in the Moment he arrives at the Balustrade the Dictator is waking up and ducks him for a Penny and Fredo crash into the Wall and loose all his teeth meanwhile the National Security gains the Control with the Help of German Panzers and the Communists who doesen't stomp by the Panzers ran away and hiding again in the Bushes once more the Day is Saved and the Power is in the Right Hands and the Dictator decides that his Work is done and its Time to get Home to his Family

Meanwhile in the House Conchita tells her Mother that she allready have a Diamond Coulier

Conchita: "You don't have need to buy me a Diamond Coulier anymore i found a Boy who spend it to me"

Beatrice says "Oh thats beautiful" but she thinks "Another Bastard i must torture"

meanwhile Ramon get it to talk Felipe into a Borg and so they walk es Borgs thru the House and the Women both gives the Bird on them in this Moment the Dictator comes home and also see them two Nerds who wairing the Borg Outfits Felipe greets him

Felipe: "Hey Dad how do you like our Costumes"

Ernesto: "Beautiful Costumes"

Ernesto kisses his wife aks her about her Tortures

Ernesto: "How was torturing today"

She whispers something in his Ear and they both go upstairs together

In the Last Scene the Audience sees the Baby who trones on thousands of killed rats and laughs like an Psychopath "I said i get all of you little Bastards"

Tropical Fever Episode 1

Main Characters:
John Paul Tremblay as Ernesto Salagar
Portia de Rossi as Beatrice Salagar
Paulo Costanzo as Felipe Salagar
Kaylee DeFer as Conchita Salagar

Minor Characters:
John Turturro as Fredo Rizitelli
Michael Fishman as Ramon
Sara Gilbert as Denica
Larry Thomas as Kabush
Vincent Pastore as Ruben
Danielle Harris as Esmeralda

FADE IN:

INT. THE SPEECH - DAY

In a Fictive Latin American Tropical Paradise who is under
Control of an Evil Facist Dictator plays this new Series:

The Evil Dictator Ernesto Salagar who wears a Miliary
Uniform like Fidel Castro holds a Speak on the Balustrade of
his Majestic Palace in Front of Thousands and Thousands of
his loyal (loyal means feard of his power and evilness)
Admirers who stand on the big Salagar Place before it

ERNESTO
Dear my abject servants ive been
glad that your my grass routs
where my wealth is built on, you
give your Sweat and Blood to build
a Mighty Empire you fight for me
and this Empire till death and
beyond of this and you prove this
in varios bloody Battles one day
this honour will be granted wenn
you all walk in the hall of
miracles where all your Dreams get
true and you all will be swimming
in Lakes of Milk and Honey with a
sweet black haired Fivitivian Girl
on each Side a Glass of
Fictivian's finest Rum and a big
one of Fictivian's finest Cigars
in the other Hand

they shout of Happyness and scream "Long live El Presidente"
and the Dictators leaving the balustrade satisfied with a
smile on His Face walking trough the Palace where overall
are Pictures of the Dictator, Pictures of Former Dictators,
Knight's Armors, Antique Greek Statues and stuffed Bears,
Lions, Tigers, Leopards, Pumas, Zebras, Bisons, Gnus and
Antilopes and even a Elephant with his real Ivory Teeth to
his Limousine, at his left Side walks his Secretarian Kabush
a stylish Oriental Man wearing a Black Armani Suit and on
his Right Side his Right Hand Ruben a bully Man who wears
also a Black Armani Suit and Black Sunglasses his
Secretarian Kabush congratulates him

KABUSH
It was a great Speech my Lord,
like written by a God handed to
the Mouth of a God-Like Leader my
eyes tear of Joy it was your best
Speech ever isn't so Ruben?

RUBEN
Yes a Great Speech from a Great
Leader ive didn't wonder ive you
became the Nobel Prize for Peace
for that


INT. THE WAY HOME - DAY

They get into the Limousine, the Dictator goes in the Behind
drink some Rum smoke a Cigar and fall asleep while the Car
begins movin and drive on the Big Four-Lane Salagar
Boulevard who is built direcetly on the Beach and is Flanked
with Palms and lot of Casinos, Hotels, Cocktail Bars and
Taco Stands on the Sides, on the Beach are lot of Sexy Latin
Girls who play Beachvolleyball the Audience sees how a Man
get schlept in a Side Street between Two Cocktail Bars from
Gouverment Troops and get Shot in the Head

His Secretary who is also his Driver looks behind and notice
that the Dictator sleeps and put his Hand on Rubens Leg
because they are a couple but the Dictator never should knew
it

Finally they arrive at the Salagar's House a big majestic
Ville with Gargoyle Statues on the Front with a big Pool and
a big Garden like a Jungle the Dictator wakes up from his
alcohol influecend Sleep

ERNESTO
Oh im at Home allready i wish you
a nice Weekend my inconsiderable
Abjects oh i wish i can get on the
Bunny Hunt on this hot Friday
Night like you young Fellas i wish
im 25 again and not married

KABUSH
But you have a beautiful Wife
Presidente

ERNESTO
That's a good Point im go in to my
Wife and Kids now and don't border
you anymore from grab some Chicks
have much Fun

KABUSH
Of course we have some Fun tonight
right Ruben

RUBEN
Oh Yeah that we have surly

The Dictator stands up leave the Car, walk trough the Drive,
kicks the Cat away and get into his House


INT. THE TORTURING - DAY

Meanwhile the Dictators Wife Beatrice a sexy blonde Woman
who wears a Military Outfit like Isla the She-Wolf of the SS
who is the Nations Chief Tourturer and also the best Torture
worldwide hits a Communist Revolutionary a muscolous young
Man in his 20's with black Hairs and a three-day-growth
Beard his Shirt is open and his sweating heavy with a Whip
to get the Information where the Rebel's Headquater is

BEATRICE
Tell me where the Rebel's
Headquater is you disgusting Wimp
i promise you it let you lose and
you can go home when you confess

she hits him hard with her Whip

REVOLUTIONARY
I tell you nothing i am a noble
Man

BEATRICE
You as noble as a moldy Grub you
better confess when you hang on
your Life

and hit him hard with her Whip again

REVOLUTIONARY
How can i know that i can trust
you?

BEATRICE
I'm always holding my Word that i
give to People

and shes hitting that hard that he confess all under big
tears

REVOLUTIONARY
I confess everything but please
stop

BEATRICE
So tell me what you knew

she is whipin him hard

REVOLUTIONARY
The Rebel's Headquater is in
Sorona

BEATRICE
And who is the Leader of this
Section

and whip him hard again

REVOLUTIONARY
Cristobal

so her Work is done and she order his Exucution

BEATRICE
Decontaminate this Wimp

he screams

REVOLUTIONARY
No i done what you want i thought
you always stand by your Word

BEATRICE
I stand to my Word but just for
People that i like you are a
stinking Piece of Shit

Her Backers take him and throw him in a Big Pot of Salt Acid
and she leaving the Torture Prison satisfied


INT. BEATRICE PICK UP THE BABY - DAY

Beatrice get in her White Family Van and driving at the
Salagar Boulevard to the Kindergarten picking up her Baby
the famous Baby Sinclair as she arrive at the Kindergarten
the Kindergarten Maid is running and screaming full of Panic
to the Car

KINDERGARTEN MAID
Finally you arrive we can stand
him any Minute longer please take
him with you

BEATRICE
What done this little Rascal again

KINDERGARTEN MAID
Done? There isn't anything he
didn't done we much glad that we
have a Kindergarten own Fire
Department and most of our Kids
are save behind Bars and immunized
for the Pox and Cholera
we can't allow to lose
more Kids there is too much Claims
right now

BEATRICE
Allright bring him to me

KINDERGARTEN MAID
Im sorry to refuse but im hanging
to much on my Life

BEATRICE
Allright i get em

Beatrice walking in the Kindergarten to bring him out as she
arrived inside there sitting the Baby with Blood on his
Mouth on the Corpse of a little Boy smiling to his Mother

BABY
Hello Mum

BEATRICE
Hello my sweet little Baby do you
got a nice Day

BABY
It was okay

BEATRICE
Do you had much Fun with the other
Kids

BABY
it was all in all a funny Day

BEATRICE
Im always glad when my little Baby
had a nice Day

BABY
do we drive to the Burger King at
the Way Home

BEATRICE
Everything for my cute little
Treasure

and so they drive to the Burger King Drive Inn where the
Clerk first think that was regular Customers

CLERK
Hello and Welcome to Burger King
your Order please

but then he see who that Customer is

CLERK
Oh its you blessed are the
President's Family

and a lot of Clerks bring them hundreds of Burgers, Fries
and Drinks


INT. IN SCHOOL - DAY

The Salagars also have Teenage Kids both of them go to
School Felipe he is 18 and a Geek who likes Star Trek, Lord
of the Rings and World of Warcraft and constanly goes into
Slapstick Situations and have Bad Luck with Girls but this
time he got chances by the sweet Esmeralda a beautiful Girl
with Long Black Hair and Soft Brown Skin he sits behind her
in the Class and always starring on her and dream of Love
and a Sexual Relationship with her when the Lesson is over
he grab her books for her and carry them to her locker while
she is walking graceful besides him but on the Way all Books
fall down and he must pick them up she is laughin and he
abolish them as they reached the Locker she throws not on
purpuse the Door on his Face and he is falling down she is
shocked help him up and apologize to him

ESMERALDA
Oh what i have done im so sorry
but i sweet up your Day for that
and go to Dinner with you

He is so overwhelmed that he only can say

FELIPE
I I I I I I I

She press her Finger against his Lips

ESMERALDA
Be Quit

and kiss him on his Lips and leaves smiling the Scene

ESMERALDA
My Class goes on

He smiles for a while than hes notice that shes left her
Pencil and ran after her

FELIPE
Wait your Pencil

and fall over his on Trouser who burst Esmeralda laughs and
turn back again even like the School Rowdies (The Soccer
Team) their Leader Esteban spots

ESTEBAN
Man this poor Devil would be
fucked ive he's not the Dictators
Son

After that Felipe's Buddy Ramon comes to him and admire him

RAMON
Wow not just that Esmeralda who is
defintly the hottest Girl in
School is talking to you she asked
you out for a Date man you the
luckiest Guy i now

FELIPE
I know i can't imagine it either

RAMON
Man i hope i get some hot Chick
like her one Day

FELIPE
(lying)
Im sure you do someday

RAMON
Do you going to the World of
Warcraft Dark Moon Annual Fair
next Weekend

FELIPE
Sure it where a Blame i would miss
that

RAMON
Great my Mum is driving us

Meanwhile his 16 Years Old Sister Conchita leaves the Art
Class Room with their new Drawings a Boat on the See and a
House on a Hill she thinks she is a Art Genius and their Yes
Sayers a lot of Hot and Wannabe Hot Girls Cheerleaders in
their Uniforms she is also the Cheerleader Queen and wear
such Outfit she aks the Girls ive they like their Pictures
and they pretend that they like them but in Fact their more
than lousy their truly spoken Awful but they admire her
because of her hotness and of the Fact the she is the
Daughter of the Dictator

CONCHITA
It is good Pictures?

YES SAYERS
(lying)
It is good Pictures! The best we
ever saw

Felipe and Conchita both get into the same Bus but Conchita
depends that shes doesen't know her brother because she
thinks that her Reputation suffers on this Situation but
everyone knows that they are Brother and Sister because they
the Dictator's Childs and everybody is feared of him and
this not without a Reason so they respect and admire them


INT. AT HOME - DAY

As they reached their Suburban Home the Mother allready is
cooking Meatloaf and Sweet Potato Mash and the whole Family
sits together on the wooden Table and waiting for their
Lunch except for the Baby who plays Poker with some
Desperados One has Long Hairs and a Mustache wearing a
Mexican Hat a a Green Poncho Brown Jacket brown Pants a
Ammunition Belt and a Gun, one has Long Hairs a Mustache
wearing a Mexican Hat on his Back a Black Leather Jacket
black Pants and 2 Guns, one is fat wearing a Mustache, a
Brown Poncho, a Mexican Hat a Ammunition Belt a Blue Jacket,
Brown Pants and a Gun and one is wearing a Mexican Hat, a
white Jacket, white Pants and a Gun and shouts at his Mother
who's Love is only set to him during she is extremly
sadistic to everyone else except her Family and mostly she
loves the Baby she threatend him like a King

BABY
Mum move your cute little Ass away
from the Herd and drive to the
7/11 and buy us some Beer, Rum,
Cigars, Burgers and Chips

BEATRICE
Allright my Little Treasure all
that you want directly after the
Meal i buy your Stuff

BABY
I said Now

BEATRICE
Ok my little Darling i drive to
the 7/11 directly Felipe watch the
Meatloaf please when i was away

FELIPE
Allright Mum I'm always like to
help in the Household

Beatrice take her Keys and step into the Car and drives to
the 7/11

Meanwhile Conchita shoes her Dad her Drawings and ask him
ive he likes it

CONCHITA
Do you like my Paintings Dad

ERNESTO
Oh ya beautiful Paintings

and looks surreptitious than his Boy shows him his hand made
Model of the Enterprise NCC 1701-D and asks him how he likes
it

FELIPE
How do you like my Spaceship Dad

ERNESTO
O ya beautiful Spacehip

and looks surreptitous again than Conchita goes upstairs to
her room to do some more paintings and singing loud and
grisly to the Sound of Madonna's La Isla Bonita who comes
from her Ipod

CONCHITA
Tropical the island breeze
All of nature wild and free
This is where I long to be
La isla bonita...

Felipe takes the Chance and asks his Dad about a Thing he
thinks about

FELIPE
Dad you always when i have a
Problem i can come to you

ERNESTO
As long it didn't have anything to
do with Star Trek

FELIPE
No nothing with Star Trek

ERNESTO
Than Move On

FELIPE
Dad thats that cute Girl who goes
out for Dinner with me

ERNESTO
Hell Yeah i know you got less a
little bit of Me inside you

FELIPE
But i didn't know how to lay her
can you help me with that Dad who
you lay Mum?

ERNESTO
Well Son that was back in the late
70's where Alfonso Gonzalez was
the Dictator

FELIPE
Isn't that our dead Grandfather

ERNESTO
Yeah Right Son that was your
Grandfather, your Mum was a sweet
little Lady but her Dad want let
her lose so i must get rid of him
and so i cut his throat and let
him bleed out so i get your mums
love and as a nice outgrowth i
went Dictator up this Moment

FELIPE
But her Dad is a nice liberal
Piano Player thers no Reason for
killing him and i don't think that
shes liked ive i kill him

ERNESTO
Well i think you right Son that
was other Times maybe it depends
some other Solution in this Case
how a about a nice gift for her?
Thats always good

FELIPE
Thats a brilliant Idea Dad but
what Kind of Gift?

ERNESTO
How about some Cangaroo Balls

FELIPE
What Cangaroo Balls why that? I
can't imagine it that this is a
good Present

ERNESTO
Because Women love Things like
that it represent Raw Man Power
believe me Son i know what i
talking about

In this Moment the one long-Haired Desperados at the Poker
Table screams "Beguiler" and shots the other long-Haired
Desperado in the Face who fall dead from his Chair Ernesto
and Felipe looks shortly up but fastly their in their
talking again

ERNESTO
So Son do this and this will be
the happiest Evening of your short
Life

FELIPE
Dad your a real Love Guru what's
with the Idead that you join uns
and hide in the bushes and give me
advices

ERNESTO
I love to do that my Son that
reminds me of my Teenage

FELIPE
You often hides in bushes to give
love Advices when you were young

ERNESTO
I do that all the time

FELIPE
You borrow me your Ferrari
Testarossa right?

ERNESTO
Of sure i do nothing attract a
Woman more than a Ferrari
Testarossa

Meanwhile Beatrice arrives at Home and Hand the Stuff to the
Poker Table where they are much enjoin this and the Fat
Desperado hit her on her Butt she turn back press him with
his Chair against the Wall holding her Whip on his Neck and
says

BEATRICE
Watch out your Hands youve lucky
that you are a Companero of my
sweet little Baby unless i would
kill you unhesitatingly

then she sit down on the Couch and try to relax and watch a
little bit TV but her daughter comes up to her and ask for
their Advice in Love Things

CONCHITA
Mum you been a Slut once can you
help me with my Love Affairs

BEATRICE
Ok get on

CONCHITA
There is that cute Boy in School
Alessandro and he says that he
loves me and would do everything

BEATRICE
Truly Everything?

CONCHITA
Yes he said that he also said that
he would kill somebody for me
isn't that sweet

BEATRICE
(distrustful)
O yeah very sweet

CONCHITA
So do you think i should go with
him

BEATRICE
(dissembling)
Do what ever your Heart is telling
you

CONCHITA
Thanks Mum

Beatrice said that but in her Head she had allready a Plan
to fix the Situation in the Next Moment the Baby screams

BABY
You forgotten the Tequilla

BEATRICE
No Worry Baby i get up, drive to
the 7/11 again and buy them for
you


INT. THE TORTURE OF ALESSANDRO - DAY

She gets into her Car again and drives to the Liqour Store
where some Boys stand in the Front she aks them

BEATRICE
Is one of you Alessandro

A Big and Slim Guy with Curls wearing a Tight Black Shirt
and a Blue Jeans responds

ALESSANDRO
I am Alessandro

BEATRICE
Get In Alessandro i have to talk
with you

he get in and she drive on and drives with him to the
Torture Prison over what he is confused and asks her

ALESSANDRO
What we doing here?

BEATRICE
We have just a little Talk

The Gatekeeper let them in and they walk to the Torture
Building

As they arrive inside she give the Commando to her Helpers
to pack him they bound him on a Chair and she is
elektroshocking him and warn him

BEATRICE
I tell you this Don't think even
far to Kill my Husband, Stay away
as far as you can from Conchita
and leave the Town permanently or
we will meet us here again do you
understand

He acclaim unter Tears

ALESSANDRO
Im doing everything of that when
you let me stay alive

BEATRICE
Ok that's all i wanna hear

Beatrice lose him from his Bounding and go with him to her
Car and drive him home then she drive to the 7/11 again buy
the Tequila and drive home to give to the Baby


INT. AT HOME AGAIN - DAY

Beatrice arrive at home and Handle the Tequila to the Baby

BEATRICE
Here is your Tequila Baby

BABY
That will be in Time scratch along
come on Muchachos we drink another
Glas of fine Tequilla and then i
rip of your Pants Mum pour us all
in

Beatrice pour them big Glass full of Tequilla and they all
take them and they all pump them down and continue their
Game while Beatrice fall and the Couch, turn on the TV and
can finally relax


INT. FELIPE'S DATE - NIGHT

Meanwhile its evening and Felipe goes on his Date with
Esmeralda he picking her up with the Ferrari Testarossa at
the beatiful Ville of their Parents She is even prettier
than in school she is wearing a sharp black dress her Hair
is shiny and glazed they go to in Ferrari Testarossa he
bought from his Daddy and drive to a fine french restaurant

In the Restaurant he reversed a exclusive Table under the
Moonlight where the Waiter is sitting them

FELIPE
Hello i reserved the Moonshine
Table for Salagar

WAITER
Oh thats a nice Table i will sit
you

Esmeralda who is looking very good in the Moonlight is very
glad and thanks Felipe for the Innovation

ESMERALDA
Thanks for the Innovation thats a
wonderful Table in a wonderful
Restaurant

FELIPE
The best Table in the best
Restaurant in the whole City for
the prettiest Woman in the whole
City you looking wonderful in the
Moonlight

ESMERALDA
Oh you are a Chameur

WAITER
Do you ready to Order yet

FELIPE
Yes we take Oysters as Starter
Lobster for the Main Dish and to
trink Champange

WAITER
Oh a rich Boy i awaiting happily
your generous Tip

FELIPE
You can count on it

After short Time the Waiter comes with their Order

WAITER
Here our best Oysters, Lobster and
Champange for the generous Rich
Boy

FELIPE
Thank you you didn't do that
without Gratification

The enjoy their Lobster and Oysters under the beautiful
Moonlight and drinking Champange and how is agreed his
Father hiding in the Bush Everything is perfect she smiles
and he found its the right Time to hand her the Present

FELIPE
I have a Surprise for you

ESMERALDA
O Yeah I like Surprise Gifts

So he give her the Kangaroo Balls shes looking confused

ESMERALDA
Whats this?

FELIPE
Kangaroo Balls i thought you like
it

ESMERALDA
How can you think that i like
something like that

ERNESTO
(whispers)
Say because you are a Slut

and this Idiot don't think and say this truly

FELIPE
Because you are a Slut

ESMERALDA
I thought you love me

ERNESTO
(whispers)
Say i dont love you i only wanna
fuck with you Bitch

and this idiot responds again say out loud his evil father
whispers to him

FELIPE
I don't love you i only wanna fuck
with you Bitch

ESMERALDA
I excepted more of you

and ran crying away now the Boy realizes what he's done and
confront his Father

FELIPE
Dad why you let me say such things

ERNESTO
Because you wanna get laid with
her in my Teenage Time that work
all the Time

FELIPE
Dad first time ive it really
worked alltime

ERNESTO
Well sometimes

FELIPE
Dad be honest

ERNESTO
Allright it never worked but i
think this time it was different

FELIPE
And Dad i wann get only laid with
this Girl i love her and she loved
me but i now she hates me and its
all your fault

ERNESTO
Allright Son i get her back for
you

FELIPE
I wish you could that

ERNESTO
I could that i have a Secret
Weapon lets go to the Basement and
get the old violine Ruben play on
her and you sing a Song for her
that Kabush wrote

They goes to Kabush's and Ruben's Bachelor Apparment Ernesto
knocks on their Door

ERNESTO
Hey Ruben Kabush I know that you
have Girls inside im sorry that I
disturb your Love Affairs but open
up we need your Help

He never will realize that they have a Love Affair with
themself they are in Sex at this Moment but they are that
loyal and abjected that they stop with that and go the Door

ERNESTO
Im glad to see you Boys where are
you Hot Love Affairs

The Dictator take a short Look inside but Ruben close the
Door

ERNESTO
Ah you don't want that your Girls
see your Boss i understand that
but I have more important Things
to do anyway my Son love this Girl
and i blew it and we
need you to fix it Kabush write a
Love Song and Ruben you play the
Violine

KABUSH
Of course we do everything for you
my Führer

and so wrote Kabush the Song in a few Minutes and they go
all to Conchitas Window where Felipe starts singing under
her Window while Ruben is playing the Violine

FELIPE
Oh Esmeralda your the Sun of my
Heart your the Cream on my Soda
and the Choclate Topping on my Ice
i did'nt mean the Words i say its
my Fathers Words not
mine i please you to forgive all
my Sins and be my little Angel on
this beautiful Night

ESMERALDA
Yes my brave Boy i wanna be your
Girl

and so their fall in love but Felipe falls also over some
Tricycle and Esmeralda laughs again

ESMERALDA
You so funny that's one of the
Reasons i love you that much come
climb the Ladder up to my Window
and come in my Room than we share
a little Bit of Love

Felipe try to climb down the Ladder but the whole Ladder
falls with him onside down but Ernesto, Kabush and Ruben
catch him up stand the Ladder up and hold it as Felipe climb
it again and this Time he make it and get into the Room to
have some Fun with the beautiful Esmeralda

ERNESTO
So our Work is done you can go
home now to your Girlfriends and i
go home to my beautiful Wife and
sleep with her too so everybody is
happy today

KABUSH
Yes we will very happy too and
blink to Ruben


INT. EVERYTHING IS ALLRIGHT - NIGHT

Meanwhile at Home Conchita wonders

CONCHITA
Mum i tried to call Alessandro but
there was next tenant on the phone
and says his family moves to
Argentinia there is one time a boy
that i liked and than he
leaves me i am that awful?

BEATRICE
No your not you my little sweet
daugther and you will ever be and
someday the right man comes and
will marry you maybe a Prince

CONCHITA
Oh that where fantastic than i am
Princess Conchita the Rich and
Beautiful i look forward to this
Day

Meanwhile Ernesto arrive at Home and say to his Wife totally
enthusiastic

ERNESTO
Beatrice my Darling come on let's
go upstairs in the Bedroom and
have some dirty Sex like in the
Old Days

BEATRICE
Oh that's great im looking forward
for this since a long Time you
pick the right Time i just read a
lot in the Kamasutra

and so they go upstairs and have a little Fun

In the Last Scene the Poker Game ends and the Guy with the
Long Hairs, the Big Mustache and the Black Leatherjacket
wins and sream loud "Arriba" where the other Desperados
bangs their Cards hardly on the Table and leaves angry the
House and the Baby cries "No No No" and bangs his Had on the
Table



THE END

My Episode of Curb your Enthusiasm

Larry and Loretta lying in their Bed and sleeping as the Doorbell rings and rings

Loretta screams "Ey yo Leon open the fucking Door you Motherfucker"

Leon who sits on the Couch and watching Football screams "Yo i fucken open the motherfuckin door"

and stand up to open the Door and its Richard Lewis "Ey yo R.L. my Man whats up wanna come in watching Football and drink some Beer"

Richard Lewis: "That sound terrific but i don't have Time we must be in One Hour at the Airport its Larry allready finish?"

Leon: "No"

Richard Lewis: "Did he packed allready?"

Leon: "No"

Richard Lewis: "Did he showered allready"

Leon: "No"

Richard Lewis: "What the Fuck he is doin all the Day"

Leon: "Sleeping"

Richard Lewis: "What a Schmock"

Larry and Loretta sleeping peacefully and cuddle together until Leon and Richard Lewis crash into the Room

Richard Lewis: "Ey yo L.D. wake up you horny Motherfucker Larry wake up whats the Matter with you we miss out Plane"

Larry: "What Plane"

Richard Lewis: "What Plane? The Plane to New York!"

Larry: "What do we want in New York"

Richard Lewis: "What do we want in New York? The Woody Allen Movie!"

Larry: "Oh i remember i make me ready"

he says and stands up and walk to the Bathroom shortly after them Loretta stands up to and walk to the Bathroom wairing a neglice and have lazy hair smilin to Richard Lewis he smilin back and falls shortly after that back in his neurotic Phase

Richard Lewis: "Larry hurry up Eugene Levy is waiting for us at the Airport Burger King"

Meanwhile the Kids are wake up too and ran to the Kitchen where Aunt Rae making Waffles and Eggs with Beacon for Breakfast Leon sits allready at the Table eating a Crossaint drinking a Orange Juice and reading the Newspaper Richard Lewis join them and ask

Richard Lewis: "Whats with the Beer"

Leon: "Yo you get em Keysha handle Uncle Richard some Beer

Larry is now finish and he ran the Steps down grab some waffles and say "Lets go Lewis" kiss Loretta on the Back and say

Larry: "Bye to the Blacks, watch my House and promise me No Houseparty"

Leon: "Allright L.D."

Larry: "Can i really trust you"

Leon: "Yo"

Larry looks at Leon to found out if he lying

Larry: "Ok i believe you"

Leon: "Allright L.D. show that Apple Pussys from which Flava L.D. from L.A. is"

Loretta:"And then i show that Apple Bitches the Flava of my Fist"

Richard Lewis interrupts "Sorry to disturb this Conversation but we must hit the Plane the Shuttle Bus is allready waiting"

And so they ran into the Shuttle Bus who bring them to the Airport where there arrive scrape trough they ran to the the Burger King where Eugene Levy is waiting he greets them

Eugene Levy "Where are you been i waiting here for Hours"

Together they ran to the Boarding Gate and than right trough the Airplane to New York City in the Plane their sitting there Richard Lewis get drunk Larry tries to sleep Eugene Levy sits there he had drink 22 Coffee while waiting for the others so he is totally squirrelly and his Eyes are wide open so he noticed that Phillip Michael Thomas is with them on the Plane he stands up and greets him

Eugene Levy: "Hey you the Black Guy from Miami Vice"

Phillip Michael Thomas:"O yeah i am wann join me for some Coffee"

Eugene Levy: "Oh yeah i love Coffee when i tell this to my Optician he is a big Fan of you"

Phillip Michael Thomas "Oh yeah did he also sell sunglasses?"

Eugene Levy: "Ya he do that he have beautiful Sunglasses"

Phillip Michael Thomas: "Oh thats great maybe you introduce me to him when we back in L.A."

Eugene Levy: "It will be a pleasure for me"

Meanwhile Larry wakes up look around and see Eugene Levy talkin to Phillip Michael Thomas and a drunken Richard Lewis who flirts with a Flight Attentand he gets hungry so he eats some pretzles now he is getting thirsty

Larry scream "This Pretzles makin me thirsty"

He looks around and see only Flight Attentand the one who is flirting with Richard Lewis so he scream a bit louder and harsher "This Pretzles makin me thirsty"

No Response he says to and Old Fat Man

Larry: "Do you see that instead she is doing her Job she is flirtin with a drunken Richard Lewis ok when it was a sober Leonardo de Caprio i can understand a little bit but thats a drunken Richard Lewis

So he scream again louder and harsher "This Pretzles makin me thirsty"

No Response again so he scream as loud and harsh es he can "This Pretzles makin me thirsty"

so that the whole Plane is watching at him and

Richard Lewis says "Larry a little bit discipline please"

Larry respones "Whats about the Soda"

The Flight Attentand give Larry a Soda

Eugene Levy winks him by "Hey Larry come over here is somebody who wanna met you"

Larry goes to them and greets Phillip Michael Thomas "Hey you the Black Guy from Miami Vice"

P.M.T. answers "Yeah i am and you the Guy who wrote Seinfeld"

Larry: "Well not all but most of it"

P.M.T.: "My Favourite Episode is The Puerto Rican Day is that from you"

Larry: "No"

P.M.T. "Ah but i glad to met you anyway lets meet for some drink in New York"

Eugene Levy: "Yes we at the Mario's for Diner be invited to step by"

P.M.T.: "Yeah i will do that"

Larry puts Eugene Levy on the Side: "Hey why you inviting this Guy if you sure that Woody Allen like that?"

Eugene Levy laughs: "Woody Allen likes everyone"

Larry respones "No he didn't"

As they arrived Woody Allen is waiting for them at the Boarding Gate Phillip Michael Thomas walks forward and says "By Fellas until then"

He and Woody Allen look each other with grimmy Faces and when hes away

Woody Allen says "Do you know this Guy"
Larry answers "Briefly"
Woody Allen: "I hate him he is my worst Enemy since he did his Motivation Programs a lost a lot of Fans who can identify with me"

Larry punches Eugene Levy soft in the Side "See i told you"

Woody Allen: "But who Cares so lets drive to the Hotel"

Larry: "In which Hotel we housing Carlton Ritz Hilton?"

Woody: "No non of them"

Larry: "Where else Palace Mariott Waldorf Astoria"

Woody: "No somerwhere else"

Larry: "Where somewhere else"

Woody: "Just somewhere else"

it depends that they sleeping at the Appartment of Woody Allens Aunt in the 76th Street

Larry: "Why we sleeping here Woody"

Woody: "Well the Check for the Film Budget is not arrived yet so i place you here for the First Time"

Larry: "But whe can afford Hotel Rooms by us self"

Woody: "No i say you invited and so you are invited"

Woody Allens Aunt comes in and its Barbara Streisand in colourful Dress screaming "Hi everybody" everybody says hi too than

Barbara Streisand asks "Who want some Bagels"

and everybody is hungry so she brought a Ton of Bagels and everybody is eating

Woody Allen notice: "But don't eat to much spare your Hunger for the Dinner"

so they pack over their Packages now the Appartment is very big so everybody has an Single Room everybody go on it Larry is in his Room ang pack over his package as Woody Allens Aunt come in and pack him from the Behind

Barbara Streisand: "Oh Larry i waiting for this Moment all the Time take me take me as you never take any Woman before"

Larry try to resits but she is in a Mad Rage bun in this Moment Woody Allen comes in and his Aunt turn normal from one Second to the Other

Woody Allen "Go get Larry some Alone Time Aunt we go to the Living Room and play some Chess"

and looks curious to Larry as they alle enpacked they go the Restaurant their Table is waiting and everybody orders a Big Expensive Meal because Woody Allen can chalk here as much as he want because the Owner is a Big Fan from him all is perfect and everybody is happy and enjoin their Meal until Phillip Michael Thomas arrived Woody Allen noticed him directly and as he sees that hes smilin an walk to their Table

Woody Allen screams "What want this Guy here i hate him that ruins the complete Diner for me"

Eugene Levy "Whats the Matter with you thats a nice Guy"

Richard Lewis: "Yeah he's allright"

Woody Allen: "Did you think so too Larry"

Larry makes his sceptic Face "Eeh"

Phillip Michael Thomas looking mad at him

Woody Allen "Allright when all of my Friends say this Guy is allright i agreed to go on with the dinner but Larry didn't like him too so i have enough of this"

Phillip Michael Thomas looks to Larry "What the Fuck" than he says "Fine im goin but when i met somebody of you at the Street i didn't guarantee for nothing" and rams the Door

"So we finish Diner now" Larry says all about nothing happenend

But Woody Allen isn't in the Mood for Eating anymore and decide to leave "No when a Dinner is once ruined it keeps ruined" so they leaving the Restaurant

Larry: "What a fucked up Evening i hope its allright at home"

Switch to his Home where the Blacks celebrating a Party and invited around 300 Primaly Black but also Latinos, Oakies and Asians theres Hustlers with their Bitches Gangsters with their Uzi's and Biker with their Bikes in the House Strippers dancing at Poles, Gamblers at the Poker Tables and Drunks at the Bar Coke Sniffers at the Toilet and Stoners in the Living Room

Switch back to Larry "Im sure it is"

They get into a Taxi who is driven by an Asian Indian Woody Allen describe the Way to the Appartment of his Aunt and the Indian look at them

Asian Indian: "Hey you the Man with the Glasses who fuck the young Girls and you they Father of the Guy who have his Dick in the Apple Pie and you are the Guy who the Girl from Halloween always wanna sleep with and you the Grandfather from Arrested Development"

Everybody is amused except of Larry who hate it when he was confused with Will Arnett they all share the Bill and give a greatful Tip except of Larry and they go back to the Appartment to get some sleep before the Filming begins

Larry showers, brush his tooth, put his Pyama on and lies down in the Bed switch the Light off and then he hear the Voice "Hello Baby im waiting for you all the night" and so the Raping begins and Larrys Crys will be heard in a thousands of miles away