Montag, Juli 20, 2009

Tropical Fever Episode 1

Main Characters:
John Paul Tremblay as Ernesto Salagar
Portia de Rossi as Beatrice Salagar
Paulo Costanzo as Felipe Salagar
Kaylee DeFer as Conchita Salagar

Minor Characters:
John Turturro as Fredo Rizitelli
Michael Fishman as Ramon
Sara Gilbert as Denica
Larry Thomas as Kabush
Vincent Pastore as Ruben
Danielle Harris as Esmeralda

FADE IN:

INT. THE SPEECH - DAY

In a Fictive Latin American Tropical Paradise who is under
Control of an Evil Facist Dictator plays this new Series:

The Evil Dictator Ernesto Salagar who wears a Miliary
Uniform like Fidel Castro holds a Speak on the Balustrade of
his Majestic Palace in Front of Thousands and Thousands of
his loyal (loyal means feard of his power and evilness)
Admirers who stand on the big Salagar Place before it

ERNESTO
Dear my abject servants ive been
glad that your my grass routs
where my wealth is built on, you
give your Sweat and Blood to build
a Mighty Empire you fight for me
and this Empire till death and
beyond of this and you prove this
in varios bloody Battles one day
this honour will be granted wenn
you all walk in the hall of
miracles where all your Dreams get
true and you all will be swimming
in Lakes of Milk and Honey with a
sweet black haired Fivitivian Girl
on each Side a Glass of
Fictivian's finest Rum and a big
one of Fictivian's finest Cigars
in the other Hand

they shout of Happyness and scream "Long live El Presidente"
and the Dictators leaving the balustrade satisfied with a
smile on His Face walking trough the Palace where overall
are Pictures of the Dictator, Pictures of Former Dictators,
Knight's Armors, Antique Greek Statues and stuffed Bears,
Lions, Tigers, Leopards, Pumas, Zebras, Bisons, Gnus and
Antilopes and even a Elephant with his real Ivory Teeth to
his Limousine, at his left Side walks his Secretarian Kabush
a stylish Oriental Man wearing a Black Armani Suit and on
his Right Side his Right Hand Ruben a bully Man who wears
also a Black Armani Suit and Black Sunglasses his
Secretarian Kabush congratulates him

KABUSH
It was a great Speech my Lord,
like written by a God handed to
the Mouth of a God-Like Leader my
eyes tear of Joy it was your best
Speech ever isn't so Ruben?

RUBEN
Yes a Great Speech from a Great
Leader ive didn't wonder ive you
became the Nobel Prize for Peace
for that


INT. THE WAY HOME - DAY

They get into the Limousine, the Dictator goes in the Behind
drink some Rum smoke a Cigar and fall asleep while the Car
begins movin and drive on the Big Four-Lane Salagar
Boulevard who is built direcetly on the Beach and is Flanked
with Palms and lot of Casinos, Hotels, Cocktail Bars and
Taco Stands on the Sides, on the Beach are lot of Sexy Latin
Girls who play Beachvolleyball the Audience sees how a Man
get schlept in a Side Street between Two Cocktail Bars from
Gouverment Troops and get Shot in the Head

His Secretary who is also his Driver looks behind and notice
that the Dictator sleeps and put his Hand on Rubens Leg
because they are a couple but the Dictator never should knew
it

Finally they arrive at the Salagar's House a big majestic
Ville with Gargoyle Statues on the Front with a big Pool and
a big Garden like a Jungle the Dictator wakes up from his
alcohol influecend Sleep

ERNESTO
Oh im at Home allready i wish you
a nice Weekend my inconsiderable
Abjects oh i wish i can get on the
Bunny Hunt on this hot Friday
Night like you young Fellas i wish
im 25 again and not married

KABUSH
But you have a beautiful Wife
Presidente

ERNESTO
That's a good Point im go in to my
Wife and Kids now and don't border
you anymore from grab some Chicks
have much Fun

KABUSH
Of course we have some Fun tonight
right Ruben

RUBEN
Oh Yeah that we have surly

The Dictator stands up leave the Car, walk trough the Drive,
kicks the Cat away and get into his House


INT. THE TORTURING - DAY

Meanwhile the Dictators Wife Beatrice a sexy blonde Woman
who wears a Military Outfit like Isla the She-Wolf of the SS
who is the Nations Chief Tourturer and also the best Torture
worldwide hits a Communist Revolutionary a muscolous young
Man in his 20's with black Hairs and a three-day-growth
Beard his Shirt is open and his sweating heavy with a Whip
to get the Information where the Rebel's Headquater is

BEATRICE
Tell me where the Rebel's
Headquater is you disgusting Wimp
i promise you it let you lose and
you can go home when you confess

she hits him hard with her Whip

REVOLUTIONARY
I tell you nothing i am a noble
Man

BEATRICE
You as noble as a moldy Grub you
better confess when you hang on
your Life

and hit him hard with her Whip again

REVOLUTIONARY
How can i know that i can trust
you?

BEATRICE
I'm always holding my Word that i
give to People

and shes hitting that hard that he confess all under big
tears

REVOLUTIONARY
I confess everything but please
stop

BEATRICE
So tell me what you knew

she is whipin him hard

REVOLUTIONARY
The Rebel's Headquater is in
Sorona

BEATRICE
And who is the Leader of this
Section

and whip him hard again

REVOLUTIONARY
Cristobal

so her Work is done and she order his Exucution

BEATRICE
Decontaminate this Wimp

he screams

REVOLUTIONARY
No i done what you want i thought
you always stand by your Word

BEATRICE
I stand to my Word but just for
People that i like you are a
stinking Piece of Shit

Her Backers take him and throw him in a Big Pot of Salt Acid
and she leaving the Torture Prison satisfied


INT. BEATRICE PICK UP THE BABY - DAY

Beatrice get in her White Family Van and driving at the
Salagar Boulevard to the Kindergarten picking up her Baby
the famous Baby Sinclair as she arrive at the Kindergarten
the Kindergarten Maid is running and screaming full of Panic
to the Car

KINDERGARTEN MAID
Finally you arrive we can stand
him any Minute longer please take
him with you

BEATRICE
What done this little Rascal again

KINDERGARTEN MAID
Done? There isn't anything he
didn't done we much glad that we
have a Kindergarten own Fire
Department and most of our Kids
are save behind Bars and immunized
for the Pox and Cholera
we can't allow to lose
more Kids there is too much Claims
right now

BEATRICE
Allright bring him to me

KINDERGARTEN MAID
Im sorry to refuse but im hanging
to much on my Life

BEATRICE
Allright i get em

Beatrice walking in the Kindergarten to bring him out as she
arrived inside there sitting the Baby with Blood on his
Mouth on the Corpse of a little Boy smiling to his Mother

BABY
Hello Mum

BEATRICE
Hello my sweet little Baby do you
got a nice Day

BABY
It was okay

BEATRICE
Do you had much Fun with the other
Kids

BABY
it was all in all a funny Day

BEATRICE
Im always glad when my little Baby
had a nice Day

BABY
do we drive to the Burger King at
the Way Home

BEATRICE
Everything for my cute little
Treasure

and so they drive to the Burger King Drive Inn where the
Clerk first think that was regular Customers

CLERK
Hello and Welcome to Burger King
your Order please

but then he see who that Customer is

CLERK
Oh its you blessed are the
President's Family

and a lot of Clerks bring them hundreds of Burgers, Fries
and Drinks


INT. IN SCHOOL - DAY

The Salagars also have Teenage Kids both of them go to
School Felipe he is 18 and a Geek who likes Star Trek, Lord
of the Rings and World of Warcraft and constanly goes into
Slapstick Situations and have Bad Luck with Girls but this
time he got chances by the sweet Esmeralda a beautiful Girl
with Long Black Hair and Soft Brown Skin he sits behind her
in the Class and always starring on her and dream of Love
and a Sexual Relationship with her when the Lesson is over
he grab her books for her and carry them to her locker while
she is walking graceful besides him but on the Way all Books
fall down and he must pick them up she is laughin and he
abolish them as they reached the Locker she throws not on
purpuse the Door on his Face and he is falling down she is
shocked help him up and apologize to him

ESMERALDA
Oh what i have done im so sorry
but i sweet up your Day for that
and go to Dinner with you

He is so overwhelmed that he only can say

FELIPE
I I I I I I I

She press her Finger against his Lips

ESMERALDA
Be Quit

and kiss him on his Lips and leaves smiling the Scene

ESMERALDA
My Class goes on

He smiles for a while than hes notice that shes left her
Pencil and ran after her

FELIPE
Wait your Pencil

and fall over his on Trouser who burst Esmeralda laughs and
turn back again even like the School Rowdies (The Soccer
Team) their Leader Esteban spots

ESTEBAN
Man this poor Devil would be
fucked ive he's not the Dictators
Son

After that Felipe's Buddy Ramon comes to him and admire him

RAMON
Wow not just that Esmeralda who is
defintly the hottest Girl in
School is talking to you she asked
you out for a Date man you the
luckiest Guy i now

FELIPE
I know i can't imagine it either

RAMON
Man i hope i get some hot Chick
like her one Day

FELIPE
(lying)
Im sure you do someday

RAMON
Do you going to the World of
Warcraft Dark Moon Annual Fair
next Weekend

FELIPE
Sure it where a Blame i would miss
that

RAMON
Great my Mum is driving us

Meanwhile his 16 Years Old Sister Conchita leaves the Art
Class Room with their new Drawings a Boat on the See and a
House on a Hill she thinks she is a Art Genius and their Yes
Sayers a lot of Hot and Wannabe Hot Girls Cheerleaders in
their Uniforms she is also the Cheerleader Queen and wear
such Outfit she aks the Girls ive they like their Pictures
and they pretend that they like them but in Fact their more
than lousy their truly spoken Awful but they admire her
because of her hotness and of the Fact the she is the
Daughter of the Dictator

CONCHITA
It is good Pictures?

YES SAYERS
(lying)
It is good Pictures! The best we
ever saw

Felipe and Conchita both get into the same Bus but Conchita
depends that shes doesen't know her brother because she
thinks that her Reputation suffers on this Situation but
everyone knows that they are Brother and Sister because they
the Dictator's Childs and everybody is feared of him and
this not without a Reason so they respect and admire them


INT. AT HOME - DAY

As they reached their Suburban Home the Mother allready is
cooking Meatloaf and Sweet Potato Mash and the whole Family
sits together on the wooden Table and waiting for their
Lunch except for the Baby who plays Poker with some
Desperados One has Long Hairs and a Mustache wearing a
Mexican Hat a a Green Poncho Brown Jacket brown Pants a
Ammunition Belt and a Gun, one has Long Hairs a Mustache
wearing a Mexican Hat on his Back a Black Leather Jacket
black Pants and 2 Guns, one is fat wearing a Mustache, a
Brown Poncho, a Mexican Hat a Ammunition Belt a Blue Jacket,
Brown Pants and a Gun and one is wearing a Mexican Hat, a
white Jacket, white Pants and a Gun and shouts at his Mother
who's Love is only set to him during she is extremly
sadistic to everyone else except her Family and mostly she
loves the Baby she threatend him like a King

BABY
Mum move your cute little Ass away
from the Herd and drive to the
7/11 and buy us some Beer, Rum,
Cigars, Burgers and Chips

BEATRICE
Allright my Little Treasure all
that you want directly after the
Meal i buy your Stuff

BABY
I said Now

BEATRICE
Ok my little Darling i drive to
the 7/11 directly Felipe watch the
Meatloaf please when i was away

FELIPE
Allright Mum I'm always like to
help in the Household

Beatrice take her Keys and step into the Car and drives to
the 7/11

Meanwhile Conchita shoes her Dad her Drawings and ask him
ive he likes it

CONCHITA
Do you like my Paintings Dad

ERNESTO
Oh ya beautiful Paintings

and looks surreptitious than his Boy shows him his hand made
Model of the Enterprise NCC 1701-D and asks him how he likes
it

FELIPE
How do you like my Spaceship Dad

ERNESTO
O ya beautiful Spacehip

and looks surreptitous again than Conchita goes upstairs to
her room to do some more paintings and singing loud and
grisly to the Sound of Madonna's La Isla Bonita who comes
from her Ipod

CONCHITA
Tropical the island breeze
All of nature wild and free
This is where I long to be
La isla bonita...

Felipe takes the Chance and asks his Dad about a Thing he
thinks about

FELIPE
Dad you always when i have a
Problem i can come to you

ERNESTO
As long it didn't have anything to
do with Star Trek

FELIPE
No nothing with Star Trek

ERNESTO
Than Move On

FELIPE
Dad thats that cute Girl who goes
out for Dinner with me

ERNESTO
Hell Yeah i know you got less a
little bit of Me inside you

FELIPE
But i didn't know how to lay her
can you help me with that Dad who
you lay Mum?

ERNESTO
Well Son that was back in the late
70's where Alfonso Gonzalez was
the Dictator

FELIPE
Isn't that our dead Grandfather

ERNESTO
Yeah Right Son that was your
Grandfather, your Mum was a sweet
little Lady but her Dad want let
her lose so i must get rid of him
and so i cut his throat and let
him bleed out so i get your mums
love and as a nice outgrowth i
went Dictator up this Moment

FELIPE
But her Dad is a nice liberal
Piano Player thers no Reason for
killing him and i don't think that
shes liked ive i kill him

ERNESTO
Well i think you right Son that
was other Times maybe it depends
some other Solution in this Case
how a about a nice gift for her?
Thats always good

FELIPE
Thats a brilliant Idea Dad but
what Kind of Gift?

ERNESTO
How about some Cangaroo Balls

FELIPE
What Cangaroo Balls why that? I
can't imagine it that this is a
good Present

ERNESTO
Because Women love Things like
that it represent Raw Man Power
believe me Son i know what i
talking about

In this Moment the one long-Haired Desperados at the Poker
Table screams "Beguiler" and shots the other long-Haired
Desperado in the Face who fall dead from his Chair Ernesto
and Felipe looks shortly up but fastly their in their
talking again

ERNESTO
So Son do this and this will be
the happiest Evening of your short
Life

FELIPE
Dad your a real Love Guru what's
with the Idead that you join uns
and hide in the bushes and give me
advices

ERNESTO
I love to do that my Son that
reminds me of my Teenage

FELIPE
You often hides in bushes to give
love Advices when you were young

ERNESTO
I do that all the time

FELIPE
You borrow me your Ferrari
Testarossa right?

ERNESTO
Of sure i do nothing attract a
Woman more than a Ferrari
Testarossa

Meanwhile Beatrice arrives at Home and Hand the Stuff to the
Poker Table where they are much enjoin this and the Fat
Desperado hit her on her Butt she turn back press him with
his Chair against the Wall holding her Whip on his Neck and
says

BEATRICE
Watch out your Hands youve lucky
that you are a Companero of my
sweet little Baby unless i would
kill you unhesitatingly

then she sit down on the Couch and try to relax and watch a
little bit TV but her daughter comes up to her and ask for
their Advice in Love Things

CONCHITA
Mum you been a Slut once can you
help me with my Love Affairs

BEATRICE
Ok get on

CONCHITA
There is that cute Boy in School
Alessandro and he says that he
loves me and would do everything

BEATRICE
Truly Everything?

CONCHITA
Yes he said that he also said that
he would kill somebody for me
isn't that sweet

BEATRICE
(distrustful)
O yeah very sweet

CONCHITA
So do you think i should go with
him

BEATRICE
(dissembling)
Do what ever your Heart is telling
you

CONCHITA
Thanks Mum

Beatrice said that but in her Head she had allready a Plan
to fix the Situation in the Next Moment the Baby screams

BABY
You forgotten the Tequilla

BEATRICE
No Worry Baby i get up, drive to
the 7/11 again and buy them for
you


INT. THE TORTURE OF ALESSANDRO - DAY

She gets into her Car again and drives to the Liqour Store
where some Boys stand in the Front she aks them

BEATRICE
Is one of you Alessandro

A Big and Slim Guy with Curls wearing a Tight Black Shirt
and a Blue Jeans responds

ALESSANDRO
I am Alessandro

BEATRICE
Get In Alessandro i have to talk
with you

he get in and she drive on and drives with him to the
Torture Prison over what he is confused and asks her

ALESSANDRO
What we doing here?

BEATRICE
We have just a little Talk

The Gatekeeper let them in and they walk to the Torture
Building

As they arrive inside she give the Commando to her Helpers
to pack him they bound him on a Chair and she is
elektroshocking him and warn him

BEATRICE
I tell you this Don't think even
far to Kill my Husband, Stay away
as far as you can from Conchita
and leave the Town permanently or
we will meet us here again do you
understand

He acclaim unter Tears

ALESSANDRO
Im doing everything of that when
you let me stay alive

BEATRICE
Ok that's all i wanna hear

Beatrice lose him from his Bounding and go with him to her
Car and drive him home then she drive to the 7/11 again buy
the Tequila and drive home to give to the Baby


INT. AT HOME AGAIN - DAY

Beatrice arrive at home and Handle the Tequila to the Baby

BEATRICE
Here is your Tequila Baby

BABY
That will be in Time scratch along
come on Muchachos we drink another
Glas of fine Tequilla and then i
rip of your Pants Mum pour us all
in

Beatrice pour them big Glass full of Tequilla and they all
take them and they all pump them down and continue their
Game while Beatrice fall and the Couch, turn on the TV and
can finally relax


INT. FELIPE'S DATE - NIGHT

Meanwhile its evening and Felipe goes on his Date with
Esmeralda he picking her up with the Ferrari Testarossa at
the beatiful Ville of their Parents She is even prettier
than in school she is wearing a sharp black dress her Hair
is shiny and glazed they go to in Ferrari Testarossa he
bought from his Daddy and drive to a fine french restaurant

In the Restaurant he reversed a exclusive Table under the
Moonlight where the Waiter is sitting them

FELIPE
Hello i reserved the Moonshine
Table for Salagar

WAITER
Oh thats a nice Table i will sit
you

Esmeralda who is looking very good in the Moonlight is very
glad and thanks Felipe for the Innovation

ESMERALDA
Thanks for the Innovation thats a
wonderful Table in a wonderful
Restaurant

FELIPE
The best Table in the best
Restaurant in the whole City for
the prettiest Woman in the whole
City you looking wonderful in the
Moonlight

ESMERALDA
Oh you are a Chameur

WAITER
Do you ready to Order yet

FELIPE
Yes we take Oysters as Starter
Lobster for the Main Dish and to
trink Champange

WAITER
Oh a rich Boy i awaiting happily
your generous Tip

FELIPE
You can count on it

After short Time the Waiter comes with their Order

WAITER
Here our best Oysters, Lobster and
Champange for the generous Rich
Boy

FELIPE
Thank you you didn't do that
without Gratification

The enjoy their Lobster and Oysters under the beautiful
Moonlight and drinking Champange and how is agreed his
Father hiding in the Bush Everything is perfect she smiles
and he found its the right Time to hand her the Present

FELIPE
I have a Surprise for you

ESMERALDA
O Yeah I like Surprise Gifts

So he give her the Kangaroo Balls shes looking confused

ESMERALDA
Whats this?

FELIPE
Kangaroo Balls i thought you like
it

ESMERALDA
How can you think that i like
something like that

ERNESTO
(whispers)
Say because you are a Slut

and this Idiot don't think and say this truly

FELIPE
Because you are a Slut

ESMERALDA
I thought you love me

ERNESTO
(whispers)
Say i dont love you i only wanna
fuck with you Bitch

and this idiot responds again say out loud his evil father
whispers to him

FELIPE
I don't love you i only wanna fuck
with you Bitch

ESMERALDA
I excepted more of you

and ran crying away now the Boy realizes what he's done and
confront his Father

FELIPE
Dad why you let me say such things

ERNESTO
Because you wanna get laid with
her in my Teenage Time that work
all the Time

FELIPE
Dad first time ive it really
worked alltime

ERNESTO
Well sometimes

FELIPE
Dad be honest

ERNESTO
Allright it never worked but i
think this time it was different

FELIPE
And Dad i wann get only laid with
this Girl i love her and she loved
me but i now she hates me and its
all your fault

ERNESTO
Allright Son i get her back for
you

FELIPE
I wish you could that

ERNESTO
I could that i have a Secret
Weapon lets go to the Basement and
get the old violine Ruben play on
her and you sing a Song for her
that Kabush wrote

They goes to Kabush's and Ruben's Bachelor Apparment Ernesto
knocks on their Door

ERNESTO
Hey Ruben Kabush I know that you
have Girls inside im sorry that I
disturb your Love Affairs but open
up we need your Help

He never will realize that they have a Love Affair with
themself they are in Sex at this Moment but they are that
loyal and abjected that they stop with that and go the Door

ERNESTO
Im glad to see you Boys where are
you Hot Love Affairs

The Dictator take a short Look inside but Ruben close the
Door

ERNESTO
Ah you don't want that your Girls
see your Boss i understand that
but I have more important Things
to do anyway my Son love this Girl
and i blew it and we
need you to fix it Kabush write a
Love Song and Ruben you play the
Violine

KABUSH
Of course we do everything for you
my Führer

and so wrote Kabush the Song in a few Minutes and they go
all to Conchitas Window where Felipe starts singing under
her Window while Ruben is playing the Violine

FELIPE
Oh Esmeralda your the Sun of my
Heart your the Cream on my Soda
and the Choclate Topping on my Ice
i did'nt mean the Words i say its
my Fathers Words not
mine i please you to forgive all
my Sins and be my little Angel on
this beautiful Night

ESMERALDA
Yes my brave Boy i wanna be your
Girl

and so their fall in love but Felipe falls also over some
Tricycle and Esmeralda laughs again

ESMERALDA
You so funny that's one of the
Reasons i love you that much come
climb the Ladder up to my Window
and come in my Room than we share
a little Bit of Love

Felipe try to climb down the Ladder but the whole Ladder
falls with him onside down but Ernesto, Kabush and Ruben
catch him up stand the Ladder up and hold it as Felipe climb
it again and this Time he make it and get into the Room to
have some Fun with the beautiful Esmeralda

ERNESTO
So our Work is done you can go
home now to your Girlfriends and i
go home to my beautiful Wife and
sleep with her too so everybody is
happy today

KABUSH
Yes we will very happy too and
blink to Ruben


INT. EVERYTHING IS ALLRIGHT - NIGHT

Meanwhile at Home Conchita wonders

CONCHITA
Mum i tried to call Alessandro but
there was next tenant on the phone
and says his family moves to
Argentinia there is one time a boy
that i liked and than he
leaves me i am that awful?

BEATRICE
No your not you my little sweet
daugther and you will ever be and
someday the right man comes and
will marry you maybe a Prince

CONCHITA
Oh that where fantastic than i am
Princess Conchita the Rich and
Beautiful i look forward to this
Day

Meanwhile Ernesto arrive at Home and say to his Wife totally
enthusiastic

ERNESTO
Beatrice my Darling come on let's
go upstairs in the Bedroom and
have some dirty Sex like in the
Old Days

BEATRICE
Oh that's great im looking forward
for this since a long Time you
pick the right Time i just read a
lot in the Kamasutra

and so they go upstairs and have a little Fun

In the Last Scene the Poker Game ends and the Guy with the
Long Hairs, the Big Mustache and the Black Leatherjacket
wins and sream loud "Arriba" where the other Desperados
bangs their Cards hardly on the Table and leaves angry the
House and the Baby cries "No No No" and bangs his Had on the
Table



THE END

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